


the deepest sighs, the frankest shadows

by Positive



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Afterlife, Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Worship, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Forgiveness, Ghosts, Healing, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic, Moral Dilemmas, No beta reader, Not Canon Compliant, Only One Sex Scene Sorry, Original headcanons concerning the afterlife, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Character Death, Plot-Driven, Post-L'Manburg, Post-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Realistic Minecraft, Rituals, Slow Burn, Swearing, Tragedy, im sorry in advance, l'manburg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:20:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27707525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Positive/pseuds/Positive
Summary: "What happened to us, Schlatt? Where did it go wrong?""It went wrong when I realized what I could gain by winning."Wilbur Soot wakes up from his death sad, cold, and alone. At least, he thought he was alone. Someone he feels as achingly familiar by the name of JSchlatt is there to keep him company and tell him what he had forgotten.----A fic in which Wilbur and JSchlatt learn that they have to get everyone in their previous lives to forgive them before they can pass on....which is a little difficult when Wil can't remember his past and Schlatt refuses to admit that he's wrong. The only thing Schlatt seems to have no problem admitting....is his infatuation with Wilbur Soot.
Relationships: Jschlatt/Wilbur Soot
Comments: 118
Kudos: 811





	1. so cold

In the rubble of L'Manburg, Wilbur wished and begged for his death. And that wish had been granted. 

A sharp pain, followed by wet blood soaking his shirt, followed by a tight hug, followed by soft cries, and then followed by....darkness. This, Wilbur realized softly, was it. His legacy. A visionary that destroyed everything he ever loved. 

And then the light came. 

And Wilbur realized as he gained consciousness that he was in fact still not alive. 

Philza clutched his lifeless corpse.

Tommy looked on from the other side of the rubble. He looked afraid, and oh so sad. His son looked shell-shocked. Wilbur let out a muted sob. What torture. He thought in death he could finally find peace. Instead, a second hell. The aftermath of his actions. 

And the cold. The terrible, terrible cold. 

He ran over to Philza, ignoring his own pale body below him, and tried to cup his face, only for his hand to go clean through.

"I'm right here! Dad-" his voice cracked, " I'm sorry! Dad, please I'm right here! I'm okay!" But Philza didn't look up. 

Wilbur watched as his hands gently reached up and closed Wilbur's own eyes. 

Another sob wracked his body. 

At that moment all he knew was that he was very very very cold and that he wished he wasn't dead.


	2. first meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Schlatt finds Wilbur distraught, alone, and with no clue as to who he is.

When the fighting started again Wilbur didn't know how to process it. A man wearing a pig’s mask stood above it all for a while, shouting things about stuff out of Wilbur's understanding. Tommy stepped forward hesitantly....a broken boy. A sharp pain wracked through Wil's heart. Whatever he had done, he had caused that. 

Then, chaos began again. A huge creature topped with three skulls rampaged what was left of Wilbur's unfinished symphony. 

It was too much. It was all too much. Wilbur climbed out of the rubble and ran. He didn't feel the familiar pain or discomfort in his legs, the burn that told him he was alive, and that only made him run faster. He had to leave the noise, the fighting, his dad. 

He stumbled into a church, clutching the wall. He wasn't out of breath, but he took great lung fulls of air, dizzy and disoriented. He sat down on the pew and put his head in his hands. 

He sobbed hysterically, and he partially didn't even know why. All he knew was that he was crying, and this deep feeling in his stomach. Maybe this was his purpose as a ghost. To feel pain forever. To watch the consequences of whatever actions led to his death till he couldn't feel pain anymore. 

He wiped his face miserably, sniffling. 

"Wil?" 

Wilbur instinctively jumped, reeling his head in the direction of the voice. A man had entered the church. 

Wilbur had no idea who he was. 

"Wil is that you?" 

Wilbur looked around the church, certain that he wasn't talking to him. He couldn't have. Wil was dead. 

"A-are you talking to me?" 

"Who else is in this damn church, Wil?" 

".....oh......how-how can you see me?" 

The figure walked over and sat in the pew next to him. He didn't seem to notice Wilbur's disheveled state. Either that or he didn't care. 

"Apparently because you're dead. Like me. Obviously. " He made eye contact with Wil, sending a shiver down his body before looking around the church again. 

They sat in silence for a short time. Wil took in his suit, his horns, his ears. 

"Like what you see or something?" 

"No- I- um- I was just...I don't know...who you are." 

The goat man's eyes widened, but only slightly. "You're joking." 

"No." 

"I'm Schlatt." 

"Uhuh." 

"JSchlatt." 

Wilbur stared at him blankly before breaking eye contact. Whoever this man was, he was very intimidating. 

"You really don't remember me? Everything that I did? What I did to you?" 

"What-"Wilbur felt the air tense, "did you do?" 

".....Nevermind." 

Silence fell again. Wilbur looked down at his hands, which he hadn't noticed had started to fiddle with each other subconsciously. 

"I remember L'Manburg. I remember....my son. I remember Tommy. I think there was....an election." 

JSchlatt's arm that been draped across the pew tensed as his hand became a fist. 

"And I remember...." Tears started to fill his eyes and trickle down onto Wil's lap. "I remember dying." 

Schlatt shifted in his seat. 

"Yeah. You're missing a couple things there." 

"I guessed that much," Said Wilbur, wiping his tears on his sweater arm. He sniffled again. 

"Maybe you...maybe you can help me. Tell me what happened." Wilbur met Schlatt's eyes. 

"Shit," Said Schlatt, relaxing into the pew, "Got nothing else to do and plenty of time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kudos! Since this is my first work, I'd appreciate it if you left a comment to know if I'm going in the right direction! 
> 
> Once I get into the momentum I promise the chapters will be longer...for right now I'm just laying the foundation. Of course, it's also hard to write about Ghostbur when his canon story is still in motion, but I'm trying my best.


	3. the only one i have

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Schlatt tells Wilbur about the election and they get ready for their first night together as ghosts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a sky full of lights  
> And none of them stars  
> But each white, silvery flicker's  
> A faithful reminder to us  
> Of a weight that's in youth  
> That makes a dick of us all

“So, you remember L’Manburg, right? Your whole fight with Dream?”

“Yeah, I remember it.” Despite the betrayals and fights, looking back on the war brought a burst of happiness to Wilbur. He fought for what he believed in. And he had won with the people he cherished most by his side.

Wilbur smiled softly, “We won.”

“Yeah. You sure did.” Schlatt smirked. “And then you held an election.”

He remembers being on a podium, addressing his people. The election. Wilbur frowned. Why would he want to do that? He was the president.

“That doesn’t sound like something I would do.”

“I don’t know what to tell you Wil, but you did. You...well, some people thought that immediately instilling yourself as ruler wasn’t very democratic of you. You know, with all your independence talk.” Schlatt moved his arm from its spot on the pew, and onto his lap.  
“....That makes sense.”

“I was...asked...to run against you.” Wil looked up from the floor to see Schlatt staring into the ceiling of the church. Schlatt swallowed.

“Alex, or uh, Quackity wanted me to help him run. I dunno if you know this, Wil, but I’ve been one to be pretty successful in terms of getting what I want.” Schlatt stopped staring at the ceiling to flash Wilbur a smile.

“I don’t doubt it.”

“Yeah, well, anyway, you agreed. I think you were so wrapped up on the thought that you could never lose to even think about me.” Schlatt chuckled to himself. “I mean, the great Wilbur Soot. You had defeated everything else up to this point. Getting yourself elected would be a breeze.”

Wilbur felt a pit begin to form in his stomach. In the back of his mind, he knew where this was going.

“You stood up on that podium, Wil, and told everyone that we had won. I’d won the election.”

Wilbur felt that pit in his stomach deepen. There must be a reason why he didn’t remember this. Now, he was just waiting for the bomb.

“Schlatt….what did you do to me?”

“I...Wil…” Schlatt cursed under his breath, “Fuck I hate this. You’re too innocent now.” He quickly got to his feet and started to pace the aisle.

“Schlatt what happened next?”

“I- fuck Wilbur- I kicked you out of L’Manburg. I exiled you and Tommy.” He shoved his hands into his pants, looking everywhere except for him.

“Why..why would you do that?”

“You don’t understand,” His eyes seemed to flash, “In that position of power...I knew that you being there would only lead to problems. I mean, you’re you. I may be crazy but I’m not stupid.”

The end of that sentence ended with a snarl, causing Wilbur to sit back as another shiver wracked through him.

 _“No wonder I lost the election.”_ Wilbur thought to himself, _“Even if he lost, he’d find a way to win eventually.”_

Schlatt sighed heavily, a hand going through his disheveled brown hair. One of his ears flicked on impulse.

“Look, we’ll talk about this later, okay? You’ve been through enough today. I think we both have.” Schlatt bent down towards Wilbur, offering his hand. Wilbur grabbed it hesitantly. Schlatt seemed...unstable. He didn’t know what to make of him. If what he said was true, and he had kicked him and his brother out of L’Manburg, should he really trust him?

 _“I don’t really have a choice, though, do I?”_ He thought, _“He’s the only one I have right now.”_

Schlatt pulled him up. He didn’t let go of Wilbur’s hand, looking at him with a stony expression. Wilbur wriggled out of his grip, glancing away. He hated the way Schlatt made him feel. Like he was so much….smaller.

“Come on, let’s find a place to spend the night,” Schlatt said, not noticing Wilbur’s discomfort.

“I mean- do we have to? Aren’t we dead?”

Schlatt looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “Uh, yeah? We don’t _need_ to sleep, but I sure as hell still _want_ to. I don’t wanna be conscious when it starts to get dark. Who knows, maybe the mobs can still see us.”

“Where do we even stay, Schlatt?”

“I’ll figure something out,” He said as he walked to the doors of the church, pushing them open, and looking back at Wilbur.

\---

The “Schlatt will figure something out” turned out to be stealing from his old vice-president’s house.

“Schlatt this is stupid. He’ll see you.” Wilbur whispered, despite the fact that he knew he didn’t have to.

“Wil, he won’t see us, we’re fucking _dead_.” The sunset made it a little hard to see Schlatt’s face, but Wilbur could tell he was scowling.

“I meant- he’ll see a floating bed being taken out of his house!”

“Nah...Nah…he’s stupid. He won’t notice a thing.”

“I think you’re overestimating how inconspicuous you are.”

“You don’t even know what that word means, Wil.”

“Yes, I do! It means….sneaky.”

“Yeeeaahhh okay."

Wilbur barely saw the eye roll on Schlatt's back-lit face. “....Schlatt, I’m serious!”

“Well, it’s either this or sleeping on the dirt. What’s your pick?” Schlatt snarled. “He’s got supplies for us till we figure out what to do and why we are fucking ghosts, Wil! If you can’t think of anything else, shut the hell up.”

Wilbur’s eyes widened, hurt, but he didn’t say anything else.

Schlatt's ear flicked again. He looked like he wanted to say something but decided against it.

He slipped into Alex’s house, the door closing softly behind him. He came out a couple of minutes later clutching supplies, stacks coming out of his pockets.

“You sure know your way around his house well enough,” Wil said as Schlatt shuffled back to him. He shoved a bed into Wilbur’s open arms with a grunt.

“I lived with him. Of course I do,” Schlatt growled out. “Let’s go.”

\---

Schlatt decided that he didn’t have the time to build something mediocre in the short time it took to get dark, so for now, he pulled Wilbur into the woods to sleep under the trees.

Wilbur leaned against a tree and looked over at Schlatt as he assembled a crafting table, grumbling to himself. The torchlight that Schlatt had set up around their makeshift camp area flicked over his horns, and Wilbur couldn’t help but stare. He was...beautiful. And terrifying.

Despite the constant confusion of his situation, Wilbur had the feeling to trust him. He couldn’t pinpoint why. Maybe it was how Schlatt begrudgingly told him of what he had done. Like he regretted it.

Schlatt finished what he was doing, tossing Quackity’s stolen supplies into a chest before he took out his bedroll and laid it out, looking back at Wilbur. Wil grabbed his from under his feet against the tree he was leaning on and laid his out next to Schlatt’s.

“The mobs should steer clear with this light,” Schlatt said, flicking his hand to the torches he had set up as he sat down.

“You don’t think the-uh- others will notice?” Wilbur stammered out, sitting down as well.

“Oh, nah. They’re probably busy partying about me being dead to notice a couple of torches in the woods, Wil. I dunno if you noticed, but Alex wasn’t home.” Schlatt suddenly became very interested in the stars.

“Why would they celebrate you being dead?”

“....” Schlatt stopped looking at the stars to stare at Wilbur. “I did a lot of shitty things, Wil. To you. To Alex. To L’Manburg…..they deserve to party about me being dead.”

“I’m sure that’s not true. You’re just saying that.” Wilbur said, and he meant it. He couldn’t believe that this man warranted rejoicing of his death.

Schlatt chuckled, almost expecting Wilbur to join him. It faded awkwardly into the night. “Go to sleep, Wil. You’ve had a long day...Dying and all.”

Wilbur frowned and opened his mouth to speak, to tell Schlatt that he was wrong, but something in Schlatt’s eyes made his words die in his throat.

Schlatt shifted, laid down, and turned away from him.

Like he couldn’t look at him anymore.

Wilbur sighed softly. As he drifted off to unconsciousness, his last thought was on what could make Schlatt look that sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be some differences in Schlatt's story than what happened in actual canon, and I use wanna point out that I either simplified it for the sake of the story, or Schlatt is intentionally not covering certain things. If he is intentionally missing details, they will be addressed later. 
> 
> I also want to point out that I by no shape or form memorized the DreamSMP, so if something is inaccurate in terms of placement such as Quackity's house or anything else that's my bad, but I felt like at that moment that's what Schlatt would do in this situation. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for the love so far! I hope you guys liked this chapter. It would mean a lot of you commented to show me how you feel. My Twitter is @fairest_of_lame, drop by if you'd like to say hello or gush about Schlatt with me.


	4. you're my weakness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur has a nightmare and confronts Schlatt about what he saw.

“Come on Wil, you can do better than that!” Tommy shouted above Wilbur from his branch in the trees. 

Wilbur hissed in pain as he clambered towards his stone sword on the ground, reaching out desperately, the dust entering his lungs with a cough. He heard a soft shuffling, and right when he grabbed the hilt he saw a shadow overpass him and the feeling of a heel grinding into his hand. 

Wilbur gasped, “Techno, please.”

“Do you concede, then?”

Wilbur grimaced. The silence stretched on. Techno buried his heel deeper into his hand.

“Do. You. Surrender?”

Before Wilbur could make up his mind, a voice called out from the edge of the clearing. 

“That’s enough. Both of you.” Philza called out. 

Wilbur felt Techno’s boot lift from his hand, and Wil got to his feet, dusting himself off. He shot a glare at Techno, who was too focused on Wilbur’s dad to notice. He cradled his hand for a bit before stuffing it into his pocket. 

Best not give Techno any more satisfaction by wearing a bruise in front of him. 

Philza walked towards them both. “You know the rules, Techno. Once your opponent has fallen, you’re not supposed to advance. What you just did was unnecessary.”

“That’s not true,” Techno growled out, sliding his sword back into his hilt. “It had a purpose.”

“And what purpose was that?” Said Wil, glaring up at Technoblade. 

“Intimidation, Wil.” Techno stepped closer to Wilbur till he was leaning over him. “In this world, the only universal language-” The world began to darken, clouds forming in the sky. Soon, the only light was the soft glow of Techno’s crown as everything around them sink away. “-is violence.” 

The ground gave out from under him. Wilbur couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Just endless darkness. 

Time stretched on. 

Eternity.

Then, a voice. Like a camera coming into focus, a voice echoed throughout the void. 

Wilbur swam to it.

“ _-You listen to me,_ ” Wilbur swam faster, towards the light. “ _This place will be a lot different tomorrow-_ ” Wilbur’s vision cleared. He was standing in a crowd, looking up at a podium. 

JSchlatt stood in the center. Towering over everyone. Wilbur felt Schlatt make eye contact with him, and smile. 

A spike of fear shot down his spine. 

“Let’s start making it happen.” Schlatt echoed. 

Alex leaned over to Schlatt and whispered something in his ear. Schlatt’s smile widened. 

“My first degree as the president of L’Manburg,” Wilbur felt his body tense. “The _emperor_ of this great country,” Schlatt swept his hands to the crowd, as if in a wide embrace. “Is to _revoke the citizenship_ of Wilbur Soot,” He pointed to Wilbur from his podium, and crushed his fist. “And TommyInnit.”

“ _Run. I need to run,_ ” Thought Will and he grabbed his brother's hand and sprinted into the trees as the outcries of his allies, the arrows whistling by his ears, and the laughs of Schlatt echoed in his ears. 

\----

“Wil...Wil!” 

Wilbur’s eyes snapped open to find Schlatt bending over him, a grimace set on his face, ears drooping. 

“You okay, Wil? You were shaking and muttering and stuff….thought it wasn’t good.” Schlatt reached his hand out to maybe touch Wil’s face, but Wilbur jerked back. 

Wil quickly scrambled up to get away from his touch. Schlatt slowly retreated his hand, standing up.

“I-I’m fine...I just had a nightmare.” Stuttered Wilbur, wiping the sweat off his face. 

“Oh...alright then.” 

An awkward silence soon descended upon them.

“Want to...talk about it?” Said Schlatt, looking out through the trees to the rising sun. 

“You wouldn’t like what I have to say,” Wil said, resting his back against the tree behind his bedroll. 

“Well, now I wanna know.” Schlatt chuckled, smiling at Wil when he broke his gaze at the sunrise. 

For a while, neither of them said anything. Every once in a while Wilbur would open his mouth in an attempt to explain his dream but then close it again. 

“ _Just rip the bandaid off, Wil. You need to know if he was actually that….evil,_ ” Wilbur reflected to himself, “ _When he told me about kicking me out it sounded like he regretted it at the time but….he was enjoying it._ ”

Wilbur glanced over at Schlatt, who was still looking off into the distance. Almost as if Schlatt noticed Wil’s eyes on him, he whipped his head to make eye contact with him. 

“ _Rip it off, Wil,_ ” Wilbur thought before opening his mouth. “It was about you kicking me out of L’Manburg.” 

“.....yeah?”

“Schlatt you looked….happy to do it.”

Schlatt laughed, sounding weirdly like a bark in its sporadic nature. 

It wasn’t what Wilbur was expecting at all. 

“That’s because I was, Wil.” Schlatt managed to get out, coughing.

“W-what? Why?”

"Well..I…" Schlatt scratched at his mustache once he pulled himself together. "I wanted you gone. You were a threat to my presidency. It would've been stupid of me to let you stay."

"That's not what I meant," Wilbur whispered as he got to his feet. "The way you looked at me was so...vindictive." 

"What can I say Wil? I liked the power. You were the same way."

"I didn't act like _that_ ," Wilbur said. "I just wanted freedom for us, for L'Manburg. I held the election because I wanted it to be democratic."

Schlatt scoffed. "We both know that's not true. You held that election to show off. You thought you would _easily_ get the largest vote so you could get an ego boost," Schlatt looked off in the direction of Alex's house, his mouth set in a firm line before speaking again. "That's why Alex ran against you. Why he asked for my help. Because he knew that I have what it takes to run a country."

Wilbur's intrusive thoughts made it past his lips before he could stop himself, "And how did that turn out, again?"

Schlatt whipped his head around so fast Wilbur thought it would snap off. "If I didn't have _you_ I would have been a great leader. I _was_ a great leader!" 

Before Wilbur could react Schlatt was in front of him, pressing Wilbur against his tree. Despite Wil being taller than him, Schlatt seemed to force Wil to buckle his knees. Schlatt's hand slammed next to his face, and he leaned forward, his horns casting an intimidating shadow over his face. 

" 'Oh I just wanted L'Manburg, I wanted justice', get over yourself Wil! You wanted power!" Schlatt growled, his face pressing closer to Wilbur. 

Wilbur felt his fists clench at his sides. 

"We're not that different, Wil," Schlatt said, dropping his voice. "I just knew what you wanted before you did."

Wilbur pressed his hands against Schlatt's chest. "Schlatt…." Wil whispered, scared. 

They stayed like that for a couple seconds, Wilbur’s hands pressed against Schlatt’s chest, Schlatt bending over Wilbur. 

Schlatt almost seemed to snap out of it. He cursed, stepping out of Wilbur's space. 

"I'll...be back later," Schlatt said, and disappeared into the trees.

And with that, he left Wilbur alone to his thoughts, thinking about Schlatt's frame as he bent over him.

\---

Wilbur took this time alone as an opportunity to explore. He kept well away from the crater. For some reason, he developed a deep feeling in his gut anytime he got close. He walked the path that he did when he went to the church. 

After a while, he stopped to sit on Tommy’s bench overlooking the surrounding land. Wilbur lamented not having a disc to play. Or his guitar. 

Wilbur didn’t know how much time had passed till he heard a familiar voice coming over the hill. 

“Tubbo, I didn’t steal anything! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Tommy shrieked. 

“I can literally see it in your pocket!”

Tommy’s barking laugh echoed, and Wilbur bolted out of his seat. 

“ _Oh I missed you,_ ” Thought Wilbur as he ran over to him. 

“Tommy!” Cried Wilbur.

Tommy didn’t notice, still talking to Tubbo as he walked to his house.

“Tommy I’m right here!” Said Wilbur again. Then he realized. “ _Oh, yeah.”_

Tommy slipped inside his house, putting the diamonds he swiped from Tubbo in his ender chest before Tubbo could stop him. Tubbo cried out in protest, but Tommy knew just what to do to ease him down. 

“Hey Mr. President,” Tommy said, smiling at Tubbo, “Let’s play a disk.” 

A beat of silence between them before Tubbo smiled, rolling his eyes. “Mellohi?” Asked Tubbo. 

“Mellohi.” Echoed Tommy.

“Okay.”

Tears welled in Wilbur’s eyes. He didn’t realize not being able to talk to them or for them to not recognize his presence would hit him this hard. 

Tommy pulled the familiar disk out of his chest and walked to the bench with Tubbo, sliding the disk in, and sitting down. They sat together in peaceful silence.

Wilbur was fully crying now. A soft, silent sob. He shuffled over to join them. 

“I miss Wil.” Tommy whispered.

“I know.” Tubbo replied.

Wilbur began to cry harder. A wheezing sob. He held onto his chest. He wanted to be there for Tommy so bad. Whatever he had done alive, he just wanted to talk to his brother again.

“I miss you too, Tommy.” Wilbur gasped.

Tommy bolted up from his spot, looking around.

“Did you hear that?” Tommy blurted out, looking at Tubbo.

“....Tommy?” Wilbur said. As the words left his mouth, pain started to spread from his heart and across his body. He gasped. Wilbur pushed forward regardless, standing up to be in front of him. “Tommy I’m right here. Please...please tell me you can see me.”

Tommy’s face went white. He sputtered in an attempt to speak. Tubbo did it for him.

“How are you here? You’re dead.”

“I-I don’t know,” Wilbur gasped, turning his gaze to Tubbo, another tear slipping down his cheek as the fire of pain inside him increased. “It hurts.”

“Wil…” Whispered Tommy. Wilbur looked back to Tommy to see tears starting to form on his face.

“Please, Tommy don’t cry. Please don’t cry.” Wil said, and reached forward to cradle Tommy’s cheek. He hand went through so he just hovered his hand over Tommy’s skin. Wilbur managed to smile despite his pain. 

“It’s not all bad where I am. I’m not alone.” Wil managed to get out. He grimaced, and stumbled back, holding his stomach. 

Tommy got up, running over to Wilbur.

“Wil, don’t go!” Cried Tommy. “Whatever you do, don’t go.” 

Tubbo got up and grabbed Tommy’s shoulder.

“I’ll...I’ll come back,” Wil managed to grit out. “I won’t leave you Tommy, I promise.” 

The pain was too much. With a gasp, he let go, and felt the connection break. 

Tommy fell to the ground next to Wilbur, breathing heavily. Tubbo rubbed his back. 

The three of them stayed next to the bench for a while, crying together but separate. Close but so far away. 

\---

Wilbur stumbles into his and Schlatt’s campsite, expecting to find Schlatt waiting for him, but he's nowhere to be seen. 

Wilbur remembers their argument. Schlatt pressing him against a tree. How his own knees buckled on instinct. Schlatt’s hot breath against his face, his hand slammed right next his head as he leaned in, his horns menacingly arching over Wil’s head.

_"I just knew what you wanted before you did."_

Wilbur shivers, a warm feeling pooling in his stomach.

He’ll wait for him to get back.

\---

Schlatt doesn’t come back until dark. 

Wilbur glanced up from his book he was scribbling into when he hears the crunching of leaves.

“You should be asleep.” Schlatt grunts out, laying down on his own bedroll.

“We don’t _need_ to sleep Schlatt.” Wilbur responds, shutting his book with the quill inside softly. 

Schlatt lets out a “hm” in response. Wilbur holds his hands.

“I talked to Tommy today.” Wilbur manages out.

“Did you now?” Schlatt says, turning over and propping himself up on his arm to look over at Wil. 

“Yeah, but it was painful to talk so I didn’t do it long.” Wilbur whispered, copying Schlatt’s movements. 

Schlatt let out another “hm”, and silence fell again. 

"D-did you actually mean what you said earlier?" Wilbur stuttered out.

"You're going to have to be more specific, Wil." Schlatt said, a smirk forming on his face.

"About me only caring about power."

Schlatt sighed. "No, I didn't. At least you didn't care in the beginning."

Wilbur decided to not press that issue. They both turned to look up at the stars.

"The reason I got rid of you Wil, it wasn't all political." Schlatt muttered as they lay there.

“....What?”

“You’re my weakness, Wil.” Schlatt breathed, turning his head to meet Wil’s eyes. 

Wilbur couldn’t remember how to exhale. 

Schlatt's smile widened. 

And Wilbur found himself smiling back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1000 hits? 150 kudos? Holy shit. It was at 400 hits two days ago. You guys make me blush. 
> 
> Thank you all for the support! I managed to crank this out.....man I've got to get a solid upload schedule down. This chapter took me about two days, but with Thanksgiving break, I was able to focus all my time on this. I have school, so I'll just keep it to a single update a week unless I get spicy. 
> 
> More sexual tension will come, I promise. ;)
> 
> Please leave a comment, I'd love to hear what you have to say. I respond to all my comments.
> 
> Twitter is fairest_of_lame


	5. regret in different forms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur seeks to find out the person he was before.

Wilbur licked his lips subconsciously. He noticed Schlatt’s eyes flick down for a fraction of a second.

“Y-you don’t mean that.” Wilbur murmured. 

Schlatt shrugged. 

“Maybe I do. What then?” Schlatt asked. “What if I exiled you because if you were around I might have listened to you?’”

The end of his sentence echoed throughout the quiet woods. 

“Then you’re not as bad as what they say you are.”

Wilbur gripped one of his hands on his bedroll as Schlatt shifted out of his own, getting up to crouch next to Wilbur’s. Wil sat up. 

“And what if I like to be bad?” Whispered Schlatt, grabbing Wilbur’s chin with his little finger and thumb to tilt Wil’s head up.

Goosebumps erupted down Wilbur’s arms. His mouth fell open slightly. 

“What if I like to see the way it affects you?” Schlatt purred. 

“I…” Wilbur mumbled. 

Schlatt tilted his head down, a gilt in his eyes.

A crunching sound came from the trees beyond Wilbur’s vision. 

Schlatt shot up, his hand falling from Wilbur’s face. 

Wilbur exhaled. 

The crunching got closer and closer. 

Schlatt got to his feet. 

A foreboding shadow walked into Schlatt and Wilbur’s campsite, wielding a trident around his back and a netherite sword on his hilt. His cape softly dragged on the ground, and his pig mask glinted in the torchlight. He stopped, glancing at the bedrolls, the chest next to Schlatt’s, and the torch’s surrounding their little camp. Wilbur found himself unable to move as Technoblade slowly stepped over to Schlatt’s chest, opening it with a creak to look at what was inside. 

Schlatt shifted, taking a step back, almost bumping into Wilbur. Wilbur sucked in a breath.

Technoblade was staring right at them.

“ _There’s no way he can see us,_ ” Thought Wilbur. “ _The others didn't._ ”

Technoblade took a step towards them, then looked around the campsite again. His mouth was pressed in a firm line. 

"How can he do that?" Schlatt whispered.

In a split second Techno had pulled his sword out of its sheath, and pointed it at Schlatt's throat. 

He was staring straight ahead, but something told Wilbur that he couldn't actually see Schlatt. Technoblade was looking _past_ him. 

Wilbur's suspicions turned out to be correct as the seconds passed and Technoblade slipped his blade back in it's place. 

He took one last look around the campsite before walking away.

"Holy shit he's terrifying." Schlatt said, collapsing back down on his bed.

"Mhm," Said Wilbur, still watching the trees where Technoblade left. "Imagine living with him."

"Why is he….like that?"

"Long story." Wilbur sighed.

"Do tell."

Wilbur settled down, ready to lay out the story for Schlatt. To keep his mind off what he had done before Techno had arrived.

“Well, my dad, Philza, does commissions all over the world as a mercenary of sorts. He got one to smuggle out the prince of the kingdom of Kreig into hiding. He got there just in time to see the kingdom get destroyed by a coup and the sitting rulers assassinated…...Techno’s parents.”

“Holy shit.”

Wilbur nodded. “Yeah. He’s been through a lot. My dad decided that Techno would live best with us instead of sending him off where he wouldn’t be protected,” Wilbur paused, thinking, “Techno’s kingdom was very violence oriented,” Wilbur bent down to pick up a leaf, picking at it, “Those morals and viewpoints have stuck with him, especially seeing it happen to his parents.”

“That doesn’t explain how he can sense us, though.” Schlatt said, still clearly shaken to having Techno’s sword at his throat.

“I think...he learned things from his parents that make him do things differently,” Wilbur ripped the leaf into tiny pieces before picking up another one. “Be faster. Be more ruthless. Having the ability to….sense more. I can’t explain it.”

“That’s fucked.”

Wilbur laughed. “That’s one way to put it, yes.”

Wilbur looked at Schlatt to find that they had turned their heads at the same time, meeting each other's eyes. 

“It’s late.” Wilbur whispered.

“Yeah.” Schlatt mumbled back. 

“Go to sleep, Schlatt.” Wilbur murmured, brushing the broken leaves off his jeans.

Schlatt smiled before turning away from him. 

Wilbur waited till he could hear Schlatt’s rhythmic breathing till he sighed, looking up at the stars.

“ _What the hell am I gonna do about you, Schlatt?_ ” He thought before sleep consumed him. 

\---

Schlatt was gone before Wilbur woke up. Wilbur was slightly relieved by this. He didn’t know if he could take another bout of his teasing. 

Wilbur found himself drawn to Alex’s house today. He froze outside of his door. 

Wilbur remembers his dream, how Quackity had leaned into Schlatt, whispering in his ear. How Schlatt had broken into a wide grin. 

Wilbur felt goosebumps erupt on his arms.

He raised his fist and knocked. 

He heard a shuffling behind the door, and Alex swung the door open. 

Alex had considerable bags under his eyes. His shirt was half-tucked into his pants. His beanie was hanging on for dear life. He looked….exhausted. He glanced around.

Wilbur grimaced and flickered himself into Alex’s vision. 

Alex stumbled back. “Fuck!” 

“Don’t freak out!” Wilbur gasped, throwing up his hands. 

Alex clutched his chest and swore again under his breath.

“I thought Tommy and Tubbo were full of it,” Alex said, and gestured for Wilbur to come inside. 

Wilbur walked in, and Alex shut the door behind him.

Bottles littered any available surface. Wilbur jumped as Alex accidentally kicked one on the floor, sending it spinning. 

“What do you want, Wilbur?”

Wilbur jerked his head up, surprised at his bluntness. “I want….” Wilbur thought for a bit, “Well, I don’t remember.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I don’t remember anything past the election.”

Quackity stared at him for a while, and went over to one of his chests, pulling out a half-empty bottle and popping the cork.

“What do you want to know?” Quackity said after taking a long gulp.

“I-I want to know about Schlatt.”

Alex jerked his head up and barked out a laugh. He waved his hand around his house. “This is all him, buddy.” 

Wilbur looked around his house again. It was- for lack of a better word- utterly destroyed. 

“He kicked you out, then worked with me to take down everything you had ever built. The walls, the flag, all of it. And after that was done, he destroyed our relationship,” Quackity’s hand tightened out the bottle’s head. “The fucking alcoholic….” 

The bottles suddenly made sense. Wilbur frowned. 

“You-you,” Quackity spoke, his voice shaking, “You tore us apart. Inside out. With your little _spy_.” 

Alex slammed his bottle down on the nearby table. He put his head in his hands, breathing deeply. Wilbur took a step forward. Alex stepped back, holding out his hand to stop Wil.

“No. You stay away.” Alex forced out.

Wilbur clenched his hands at his sides.

“Alex, tell me. Tell me what we were like. Please….I need to make it better.” Wilbur whispered.

Alex looked up to meet his eyes, taking a deep breath. Silence divided them like a chasm. 

“Okay.”

\---

Schlatt had spent most of the morning looking out at the ruins of L’Manburg. 

Thinking.

The regret of what he did. Of what he didn’t do.

His death.

Surrounded by his enemies. 

Schlatt climbed up to Wilbur’s control room. 

_“Tommy I want you to put it between his eyes.”_ Wilbur had said as they surrounded him.

Remnants of Wilbur’s hysteria scraped into the broken walls.

 _“Victory or death.”_ Wilbur had said as Tommy loaded his crossbow, putting it between Schlatt’s eyes.

Schlatt sat down, overlooking the rubble.

He remembers the way Wilbur had looked. Crazed. 

He remembers what he thought before his world turned black, before the heart pain overtook him. 

“ _If I go down, L’Manburg goes down with me.”_

And it had. Just not the way he had thought. 

Schlatt shook his head, getting up from his place overlooking the destruction.

And then he felt it.

That tug he felt the day before. When Wilbur had shown himself.

This time, Schlatt didn’t ignore it. He followed the string that led him straight to Wil.

\---

“I...I was really like that?” 

Quackity hummed.

“You really don’t remember? Really?”

“No.” Whispered Wilbur, holding his hands as they sat in Alex’s living room together.

He hadn’t told Alex how Schlatt was with him. He didn’t want to upset him.

“Why do you think you’re here, Wil?” Alex asked, nursing his bottle again. 

Wilbur thought about this for a while. 

“I think….I think I have to make it up to people before I go.” He didn’t know where this came from. Wil just knew it was the right answer. 

Wilbur heard the soft creaking of Alex’s door being opened. Wilbur turned at the sound. 

Schlatt stood at the entrance.

Schlatt looked at Alex, then at Wilbur, then back at Alex again. 

He walked over to Wilbur. Wilbur’s mouth dropped open slightly, and a feeling like he was caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing dripped down his body. 

“That door needs to be fixed.” Quackity muttered.

“Why are you here?” Asked Schlatt.

“I-I wanted to ask him…” Muttered Wilbur. 

“Ask him what, Wilbur?” Schlatt said, walking behind Wilbur’s spot on the couch.

“You okay, Wil? You’re talking to yourself.” Quackity said, leaning forward.

“Y-yeah I’m fine.” Wilbur forced out.

Schlatt put his hand on Wilbur’s shoulder.

“Well Wil, if you want to make it up, you can help Tubbo rebuild L’Manburg. He needs all the help he can get,” Quackity mentioned. “Especially because he’s trying to be the first _actually good_ president we’ve had.”

Schlatt’s fingers dig, making Wilbur grimace.

“Schlatt...please…”

Alex flicks his eyes up.

“Did you just say Schlatt?” Alex questions.

Wilbur felt a warmness like the effects of a fire from behind him. 

He knew that Schlatt had shown himself.

Alex jumped up.

“Y-You!”

Schlatt snarled.

“Come on now, Alex. I know you missed me.” Schlatt growled. 

“Schlatt…” Wilbur whispered.

“Y-you both need to leave!” Alex stuttered out, backing up from them.

“W-what?” Wilbur questioned, surprised.

“Hey Wil, you wanna fix L’Manburg? Fine! But keep him away from me!”

Schlatt barked out a laugh. 

“Oh, like you’re the one that suffered the most!” Schlatt snapped. 

Quackity’s face went white.

“Schlatt, no!” Cried Wilbur, leaping to his feet and turning to Schlatt. “Schlatt, we need to leave.”

Schlatt looked at Wilbur and after a couple of seconds, Wilbur felt him cool down. 

Schlatt looked down at his feet.

“.....okay Wil.” 

Wilbur felt his connection break and watched as he walked out of Alex’s house.

Wil turned back to Alex.

“I’m sorry….I’ll help fix L’Manburg. I’ll….I’ll look after Schlatt.” Wilbur whispered, walking out after Schlatt.

They left Alex shivering and still clutching Schlatt’s old bottle. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1818 hits and 244 kudos as I'm typing this. I can't believe you guys. 
> 
> As usual, thank you guys so much for the support. 
> 
> Once I get the story foundation down Wilbur and Schlatt's relationship will grow more. I know it's just crumbs right now....Sorry lol. Hopefully, you guys got a taste at the beginning of what's to come. 
> 
> By the way, at this point in the story, Wilbur still doesn't know that he blew up L'Manburg. Quackity just talked about what kind of people they both were, not any specific events. 
> 
> Please leave a comment, I appreciate and respond to every single one. 
> 
> Twitter is fairest_of_lame


	6. understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not a lacking of spine  
> Nor of physical pulse  
> It's just a feeling of distance  
> Akin to a feeling of loss  
> Of love in the youth  
> Of my limited life  
> That passed in a violent  
> And ritual screwing inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how I said I'd stick to one update a week? That I'd have some semblance of a plan or schedule? HAHAHA, you make me laugh.

Wilbur shut the door with a soft click.

Schlatt was leaning against the wall.

“So I need to be looked after, huh?” Schlatt snarled, standing up straight.

Wilbur sighed, walking ahead and in the direction of their campsite together.

“Hey Wil, I’m talking to you!” Schlatt said, grabbing Wilbur’s sleeve.

Wilbur whipped around. “What did you do to him, Schlatt?”

Schlatt let go of Wilbur’s sleeve.

“He’s destroyed! What did you _DO_?” Wilbur demanded, taking a step back from him.

“I…”

“No- I shouldn’t even ask. Alex told me everything I needed to know about what kind of person you are.” Wilbur spat out.

Silence fell between them.

Schlatt looked shell shocked. Then, his face twisted into a scowl.

“Don’t act all high and mighty Wil!” Schlatt sneered, stalking towards him. “Like you didn’t destroy people either! Like you didn’t ruin every life you came in contact with!” Schlatt grabbed Wilbur’s arm again, jerking him forward. “Like you weren’t just. Like. Me.”

Wilbur struggled against his grip. “I wasn’t like you! I actually cared!”

Schlatt barked out a laugh, full of spite and vindictiveness. “And where did that get you, huh? Where did that lead you?” Wilbur felt Schlatt’s nails dig from under his jacket. “Dead. With me.”

Wilbur jerked his hand out of Schlatt’s grip.

Neither of them spoke for what felt like years. Watching each other as the colors of the sunset passed over them. Schlatt seemed to sink into himself as time passed, his eyes clouding.

Wilbur was the first to speak after their silence.

“Schlatt,” Wilbur whispered, slowly grabbing Schlatt’s hand and covering it with both of his own. “Why is Alex like that?”

Schlatt took a deep breath.

“Because….he thought he loved me.”

Wilbur’s eyes widened.

“And he did whatever he could to convince me I loved him back,” He sucked in another breath, “Till he realized I never would.”

Wilbur’s voice came out in a whisper, “Why couldn’t you love him?”

“Because I wanted something else.” Schlatt said, meeting his eyes. “Do you know what I wanted, Wil?”

Wilbur couldn’t speak.

Schlatt lifted his other hand, touching Wilbur’s face.

“I didn’t just want power and land Wilbur,” Schlatt rubbed his thumb on Wilbur’s cheek. Despite himself, Wilbur felt himself melting into his touch. “I wanted you.”

Schlatt leaned in, and Wilbur lowered himself, guided by Schlatt’s hand. They stared at each other, the open-ended question in the air.

“Tell me, Wil.”

Wilbur thought back to how he felt whenever Schlatt got close. How much they seemed to understand each other while being so so _different._ The regret that remains persistent behind Schlatt’s eyes, never really fading away.

“ _I can change him….Maybe that’s what I’m here to do_.” Wilbur’s mind whispered.

He’d made his choice.

“Yes.”

Wilbur’s eyes fluttered closed as he felt Schlatt’s lips brush against his. Wilbur sighed into it, and the next thing he knew was that he could taste him.

“ _Oh_ ,” Wilbur thought as Schlatt pressed closer to him, moving his head to kiss him deeper.

One of Schlatt’s hands slipped into his hair, the other wrapping around Wil’s back, cradling him.

Schlatt growled, something low and guttural from the base of his throat.

“ _Ooh_.”

He smelled slightly musty, but the overpowering smell of cologne covered it up. A deep rich amber smell and something oh so familiar filled Wilbur’s senses.

He didn't understand how he had ignored it before.

He fell back into it, letting out a soft moan.

Schlatt couldn’t seem to stop, placing his hand into the small of Wilbur’s back, kissing him like he’ll never come up for air.

But eventually, they both had to.

Wilbur gasped, taking in large gulps of oxygen. He met Schlatt’s eyes and smiled.

“God, it was worth it.” Schlatt whispered.

“What was?” Wilbur murmured back.

“You.” Schlatt responded, before kissing him again. A slow, painful kiss that left Wilbur wanting.

“Let’s go.” Schlatt said, stepping back and grabbing Wil’s hand.

All Wilbur could do was follow.

\---

They didn’t say much on the way to the campsite.

Every once in a while Schlatt would look back at Wilbur and squeeze his hand, and Wilbur would squeeze back, but that was it.

The warm feeling he felt when he remembered Schlatt pushing him against the tree before was back. A slow, aching burn.

As they slipped into the woods, Wilbur noticed something was off. A greater light than before was coming from their camp, a large flickering light.

Schlatt didn't seem to notice.

"Schlatt, wait," Wil whispered. "Someone's at the camp."

Schlatt looked back to Wil.

"That's weird….no one knows where we are."

"Except Technoblade." Wil murmured.

"Except Technoblade." Schlatt echoed, determined, squeezing Wilbur's hand.

"He probably just wants to talk." Wilbur said before entering the campsite.

Technoblade was sitting on Wilbur's bedroll, a fire flickering in front of him as he cooked a piece of steak over it. The flames seemed to dance across his pig mask, the tusks menacingly arching to the sky. His cape billowed out from under him.

Wilbur wondered how he wasn't sweating with all the layers he was wearing.

Technoblade looked up when Schlatt and Wilbur entered.

A shiver shot through Wilbur. He hated how Techno sensed him even though he wasn't visible.

Schlatt was the first to materialize.

"What do you want?" He calmly asked.

Technoblade smiled. "I knew it."

"What?" Schlatt asked.

Techno ignored his question. "Where's my brother? I know there's two of you."

Wilbur grimaced and felt the familiar ache of pain that meant he was visible.

"Hey Techno."

Technoblade grinned. "Neither of you can stay dead, can you?"

"Guess not." Schlatt grimaced, sitting down on his bedroll.

Wilbur sat next to Schlatt.

"Why are you here?" Wilbur murmured.

"I can't check up on my ghost brother?" Techno asked, pulling his steak out of the fire.

"You can….but it's you."

"Hm. True." Techno replied as he blew on the meat.

Wilbur waited patiently as Technoblade took his time, lifting up his mask slightly so that he could see the scar that stretched down to his cheek, taking a large bite of his meal.

Wilbur watched as Schlatt started to tap his foot in impatience. Wilbur put his hand on Schlatt's leg.

The tapping stopped.

Techno finally spoke, "Do you have any idea why you guys are ghosts, or do you just plan to haunt everyone for eternity?"

"Well, yeah, now that you mention it." Schlatt said, grinning.

Wilbur rolled his eyes.

"What he meant to say is that we are trying to figure it out." Wilbur responded.

"Hm." Techno pondered, finishing off the piece of steak and wiping it on his cape, sliding his mask back down. "Wil, give me your hand."

Wilbur held out his hand and watched as both of Technoblade's covered his own.

They stayed like that for a while in silence. A tingling sensation started at Wil's hand and spread through his body. Technoblade took deep, calm, and long breaths. For a while, Wilbur thought he had fallen asleep, but he eventually let go.

"I know why you're here." Techno said.

"Why?"

"You'll stay here until your unfinished business is settled. That means….everyone has forgiven you and L'Manburg is at peace. Only then will you pass on." Techno graveled out, turning to pick at the fire.

He looked over at Schlatt. "I would assume the same for you as well. I just don't know why you've remembered everything while Wil hasn't…..maybe the trauma was too much for his spirit form."

Wil looked over at Schlatt, who had his face in a grimace.

"You on the other hand are made of tougher stuff, aren't ya Schlatt?" Techno grinned.

Schlatt barked a sarcastic laugh.

"Or maybe," Techno continued, "You choose to forget, Wil. It's most likely both."

Wilbur remembers his adversity of asking Quackity questions about the past election. Like he was holding himself back from the truth.

"Most likely..." Wilbur mumbled to himself.

"Annnnywayy," Schlatt butted in, clearly wanting to end the conversation, "Any other reason you're here? I don't know if you know, but it kinda hurts to be in physical form, and I don't want to do this for longer than I have to."

"That should fade with repeated use," Techno said, unfazed by Schlatt's attempts to end the conversation. "I'm pretty sure with Wilbur it already has; by a large margin. Tommy told me you could hardly speak the first time you materialized."

"It's getting easier." Wilbur confirmed, remembering the searing pain from his encounter with Tommy and Tubbo in comparison to how it had slowly faded when he was talking to Alex.

Techno gets up. "Wil…when you do learn about your past….I hope you don't see me any differently."

Wilbur frowned.

Techno dug into his pocket and pulled out an enchanted compass, tossing it to Wilbur, who managed to catch it just in time.

"If you ever need me, this points to where ever I am."

And with that, he disappeared into the dark trees. A whooshing sound that meant he had activated his trident echoed throughout the quiet, and then he was gone.

Wilbur sat in silence, staring at his compass, wondering what Technoblade meant by "seeing him differently". He tucked it into his pocket.

"You know, I think him being absolutely terrifying is growing on me." Schlatt blurted into the silence.

"You get used to it." Wilbur said, getting up, shrugging off his coat, and throwing it next to his bedroll before laying down.

"You know what else I'm getting used to?" Schlatt questioned.

"What?"

"This whole thing. Being ghosts, this little campsite we got going on…..being with you." Schlatt flashed him a smile.

Wilbur glanced away.

"Hey, Schlatt?"

"Hm?"

"Why didn't you ever...say anything while you were alive? About what you said earlier?" Wilbur asked softly.

Schlatt sighed. "I think we were both tied up with our own problems at the time….Especially since we were against each other."

"Well I mean, you sending me into exile definitely didn't help."

Schlatt laughed. "No, no it didn't...kinda shot myself in the foot with that choice," The last sentence he said came out in a mumble, "In more ways than one."

Wilbur thought about this.

"So you liked me even when you were doing that? Running against me, the exile, all of it?"

"Wilbur….I knew I wanted you the instant I met you," He was making direct eye contact with Will now, "Just 'cause I didn't say anything or 'cause I did things I thought I had to do at the time doesn't change that."

A shiver ran down Wilbur's spine.

"At least it didn't for me." Schlatt whispered.

"Okay." Said Wilbur, looking into the fire as it slowly started to fade.

"Just an okay? Not even a goodnight kiss?" Complained Schlatt, crossing his arms.

Wilbur rolled his eyes, smiling.

"Come here then." He found himself saying.

Schlatt got up and walked the few steps over to Wilbur's bedroll, crouching down. He grabbed Wilbur’s chin, pulling him up. Schlatt bent down.

"Goodnight, Wil." Schlatt whispered, and captured Wilbur’s lips with his own.

A slow, painful kiss. Wilbur sat up further, not wanting it to end. When he felt Schlatt start to pull away, he instinctively bit the bottom of Schlatt’s lip, wanting him to stay.

He missed the last time he felt like this.

It reminded him of Sally.

Schlatt groaned in response, and kissed him deeper.

Wilbur grabbed Schlatt’s shirt and slowly pulled them down. Schlatt put one of his hands next to Wilbur's head, and briefly separated their lips to kiss Wil right under his jaw.

Wilbur opened his eyes for a brief moment to see the outline of Schlatt’s face illuminated by the firelight, his horns curling in a beautiful display as his face slowly dipped, feeling Schlatt’s lips pepper his skin.

Wilbur had a great idea. He wrapped his hand around one of Schlatt’s horns and yanked him up to his face again.

Schlatt dropped his mouth in shock.

Wilbur's hand was still wrapped around his horn.

"Fuck, Wil." Schlatt murmured, taking the hint and dipping down, kissing Wilbur again.

Wilbur sighed into his lips. It was just...so _perfect_.

Schlatt broke away after a while, breathing deeply.

Wilbur's face was hot, and most likely _very_ red. He was glad that Schlatt didn't comment on it.

"I think that's enough for tonight." Schlatt breathed out.

Wilbur bit his lip. He wanted more, but a part of him knew that Schlatt was right.

Schlatt pulled himself up and slid a hand through his tousled hair.

Wilbur's eyes followed him. They made brief eye contact, and Wilbur swallowed.

"I'll tell you about what happened after your exile tomorrow, okay?" Schlatt said, getting up and laying back down on his bed.

"Okay." Wilbur replied. He didn't know what else to say.

The thought of Schlatt's lips on his was all he could think about.

He remembers earlier today, the way that Alex was acting. How terrified he looked when Schlatt had shown himself. How Schlatt had said Alex was in love with him.

He completely understood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2414 hits, 299 kudos, and 30 bookmarks. 
> 
> You guys have no idea how much joy it brings me to see the numbers go up. Thank you all so much for the support, you guys push me to write. 
> 
> It finally happened guys :) 
> 
> Ummmmm I feel like I should mention that Technoblade does have otherworldly powers in my canon, which is why he can sense them and kind of read Wilbur's energy. He learned this from his training at Krieg, then kind of grew it on his own once he left. I didn't know if I would mention this later in the story since this is largely Schlatt and Wilbur centric so I thought I'd just put it in the notes.
> 
> Please feel free to comment, I love it when you do. I respond to all of them. 
> 
> Hopefully, in the next chapter, I actually start assembling a plot. HAhahahahHAHA god I'm terrible
> 
> Twitter is fairest_of_lame


	7. nothing like you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur attempts to learn more about his time in exile with the help of some old friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a Spotify playlist that I listen to to get into the Schlatt and Wilbur mood, so if you are interested here's the link to that: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3dpSHoAb77hPOaQsk6Tq8g?si=og-dKirHQ6Oby-phiPYZww

Wilbur didn’t get much sleep. He stayed up, thinking about everything that had transpired over the last couple of days. His death, his first meeting with Schlatt, slowly regaining his memories….Schlatt’s confession.

He tried not to think too much about Schlatt.

Like the way he smelled.

And tasted.

And looked.

_Fuck._

It didn’t help that he could hear the soft gentle snoring of him a little distance away. An invasive thought entered his mind of him curling up next to him, feeling his warmth. He wondered if he would even notice if Wilbur got up and moved next to him.

And what if he did?

What would he do if he saw Wilbur trying to get as close as possible?

Pink filled his cheeks at the thought.

Most likely against his better judgment, he got up, gathered his bedroll, and laid it next to Schlatt’s. He turned onto his side, watching Schlatt’s back shift with each breath.

After a while Schlatt turned over, his hand flopping right in front of Wilbur.

Almost like he felt the change in the air, Schlatt’s eyes fluttered open. Wilbur’s heart rate hitched.

“Huh...Wil?” Schlatt mumbled softly.

“I got cold, go back to sleep.” Wilbur whispered back.

“Hm.” Was all Schlatt said, shutting his eyes again.

Wilbur watched as he stabilized back into unconsciousness. He watched him for a while.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.  
He didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep till Schlatt woke him up in the morning.

\----

He felt something brush his forehead, and his eyes fluttered open. Schlatt was sitting up next to him.

“Mornin’.” Schlatt mumbled.

Wilbur tried not to focus on Schlatt’s voice, raw and unfiltered, clogged with sleepiness.

“Morning.” Wilbur replied, looking over at the burnt-out fire that Techno had made.

“You know if you wanted to sleep with me all you had to do was ask. Didn’t have to try and finesse me.” Schlatt said, grinning.

Wilbur bolted up out of his tiredness. “I-uh..I thought...I didn’t…” He stammered out, feeling his cheeks heat up.

Schlatt laughed, “I’m yanking your chain, calm down. It’s fine.” He said as he reached over and ruffled Wilbur’s hair.

Wilbur rolled his eyes and laughed awkwardly to alleviate his own tension.

“So...you said you were going to tell me about my exile.”

“Oh..yeah, right,” Schlatt said, scratching his beard. “Honestly, I don’t know a lot, only from what I pieced together. If you want someone actually there, you’re going to have to talk to Tommy, Technoblade, or…” His eyes darkened and he glanced away, “Tubbo.”

Wilbur felt the hair on his arms stand up at the look on Schlatt’s face.

“It’s okay…” Wilbur found himself reaching out, resting his hand on Schlatt’s arm. Schlatt looked down at his hand like he was surprised at the contact. “Just tell me what you know. That’s enough.”

Wilbur gave a little squeeze.

Schlatt sighed. "Well, after I exiled you, you and Tommy found an underground ravine to make your base. Tommy named it something stupid…..shit what did he name it…" Schlatt leaned back, "Oh yeah, Pogtopia! Stupid ass name. Even worse than L'Manburg."

"Hey!"

Schlatt laughed.

"I mean, I'm just being honest." He shrugs, "After you left, I made Tubbo stay, and appointed him as Secretary of State to keep a watch on you guys. That really didn't go well for me, in hindsight," He looks at Wilbur, "You had convinced him to be your spy. So everything I did he told you about...Oh yeah, and Fundy….he ended up staying with me."

Schlatt flexed his hand as he continued.

"You managed to find some way to contact Technoblade while you were in exile. From what I heard, he was pretty excited about destroying my administration." He gritted out, staring at the ground.

At this point, Wilbur could notice how tense Schlatt was getting about the topic.

"Schlatt, let's not talk about this anymore, okay? It's fine." Wilbur said, squeezing his arm again.

"Yeah," Schlatt mumbled, "That's probably better."

"You can play with my hair some more." Wilbur whispered, smiling.

"Mmm." Hummed Schlatt, and pressed closer to comb his hand through Wil's hair.

Wilbur sighed softly, leaning into it.

".....did you kiss my forehead to wake me up?" Wilbur whispered after a while.

"I thought you didn't notice." Schlatt graveled out, tugging slightly at Wil's hair.

"Oh I didn't. I just had a hunch." Wilbur said, smiling.

Schlatt cursed.

"It's fine. I liked it." Wilbur affirmed him, scooting closer to him and laying on his chest.

"You're making it difficult for me, you know." Schlatt murmured.

"Difficult for what?" Wilbur whispered back.

"For me to resist you." Schlatt replied after a beat of silence.

Wilbur felt that familiar warm pool form in his stomach.

" _Maybe that's the plan_." He thought to himself.

He felt Schlatt’s head tilt down and kiss the top of his head. Wilbur's hand that was resting on Schlatt's leg twitched.

"I'm starting to think," Schlatt said as he combed through his hair again, "That it's what you want."

"Mmm…" Was Wilbur could reply, his eyes fluttering as Schlatt skillfully played with his hair.

"You can just say it, you know. If you want me." Schlatt whispered, bending down to speak into Wilbur's ear.

But Wilbur knew it wasn't that simple. Something was holding him back.

Maybe it was knowing how they acted in life, knowing they both died for their own causes despite not knowing the middle. Maybe it was the fear of the others and what they would think.

He remembered Quackity, how he had jumped back when he saw Schlatt’s face. Petrified of seeing him.

He remembered how Tommy had looked at the announcement of their exile, pale white as Schlatt crushed his hand on that podium.

They had both made these wounds to each other.

And Wilbur had noticed how Schlatt had a tendency to never apologize.

He seemed guilty, or maybe it was regret, but he never apologized.

"....do you want to help fix L'Manburg with me today? I think I'm going to head down there. Alex said they should be starting soon."

Schlatt slid his hand out of Wilbur's hair. Wilbur pouted at the absence.

"Do you really want me there, Wil?"

"Of course I do," Wilbur affirmed. "You don't have to be visible...I just want you nearby."

".....okay, Wil."

\---

Schlatt and Wilbur walked together to what was left of L'Manburg. Somewhere along the way Schlatt slipped his hand into Wilbur's, so when they got there Wilbur’s cheeks were sufficiently warm from the occasional thumb rub or squeeze that Schlatt gave.

There were three people standing outside the crater, surrounded by chests, pickaxes littering the ground. As they got closer, Wilbur identified them.

Tommy, Tubbo, and….Fundy.

His son.

Wilbur's face went pale. He let go of Schlatt’s hand.

He sprinted over to him, a spike of pain hitting him as he made himself visible.

"Fundy!" Wilbur shouted.

Fundy whipped his head around, and his mouth dropped open.

Wilbur slowed down as he got closer.

"I missed you!" Wilbur cried.

Tommy and Tubbo looked up from their plans and looked to Fundy.

Something wasn't right.

Fundy backed away as Wilbur held out his arms for a hug.

A beat passed between them.

Wilbur dropped his arms.

Schlatt caught up to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Why are you here?” Fundy asked.

“I….I wanted to help with L’Manburg.” Wilbur managed out.

“Fine then. Supplies are over there.” Fundy responded, and turned away from him.

Schlatt tightened his grip on Wil’s shoulder.

“He’s been through a lot, Wil,” Schlatt whispered, “Give him time.”

Wilbur nodded before heading over to Tommy and Tubbo.

\---

Tubbo had decided on building the new L’manburg on stilts over the crater, so the majority of the day was spent on laying down the foundation.

They mostly worked in silence.

Schlatt had decided to watch from the sidelines.

Wilbur noticed that for much of the day Fundy worked to stay well away from him.

“ _I deserve it...somehow I’ve deserved it._ ” He thought to himself.  
By sunset, they had managed to finish building the foundation, the supports of L’Manburg strong above the ruins of the past.

Schlatt came over to Wilbur when he realized that they were wrapping up for the day.

“You gonna ask Tommy about Pogtopia, Wil?”

He had completely forgotten.

“Tommy?” Wilbur asked as they packed up their supplies.

“Yeah, Wil?” Tommy said, looking up. Tubbo looked over at Wilbur as well.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to….I was wondering if you could tell me about some things.”

“What about?” Tommy asked, walking over.

“I was wondering if you could tell me about Pogtopia. I’ve...forgotten everything.”

Pain crossed Tommy’s face like he’d been slapped.

Wilbur heard a shuffling from behind him. Fundy was leaving.

Wilbur let him go.

“All of it?” Tommy whispered.

“Past the election.” Wilbur responded.

“Only tell what you’re comfortable with telling, Tommy.” Tubbo said from behind Tommy, shutting his chest with a soft click.

Silence passed between them.

Tommy walked over and sat down next to the crater, his feet dangling off the side. Tubbo sat down next to him on one side, and Wilbur sat down on the other.

Wilbur felt Schlatt sit down next to him. Schlatt reached out and put his hand over Wil’s, and squeezed.

It took a while till Tommy started to speak.

“After the whole exile….I dunno...something changed with you, Wil. At first, you cared about getting L’Manburg back, but then it became something else. Something a lot more destructive.”

“Didn’t help that Technoblade and Dream were whispering in your ear.” Tubbo mentioned.

For some reason, Wilbur’s blood went cold. He didn’t like where this was going.

“You kept talking about how we were the bad guys, about how nothing mattered. How...you just wanted to get rid of it all.” Tommy’s voice wavered, and Tubbo reached out to rub his back.

“You don’t have to listen to this, Wil.” Schlatt said as Wilbur started to visibly frown.

“Keep going.” Wilbur urged Tommy, ignoring Schlatt.

“You said you wanted to blow it all up. Schlatt, L’Manburg, all of it. That you didn’t care who got caught in the crossfire. You’d turned crazy.” Tommy said and sniffed.

Wilbur shivered. He didn’t want to believe him, but something in the way Schlatt squeezed his hand told him that Tommy was telling the truth.

“You were….awful to me, Wil. Truly. You said I’d never be president….that we were the bad guys.”

Wilbur looked down into the crater. A hole started to form in his chest.

“What then?” Wilbur whispered. “What happened next?”

Tubbo spoke instead, “Schlatt wanted me to plan a festival to celebrate his administration and invited everyone except the two of you.”

“That’s enough, Tubbo.” Schlatt said.

He had shown himself.

Tubbo sat up straighter, but Wil knew Tubbo enough to see how terrified he was. His shaking hands always gave it away.

“Sorry, is that a sore subject for you, Schlatt?” Tubbo asked, his voice barbed.

“No, but it is for him,” Schlatt said, glancing over at Wilbur. “You guys can talk about this later. Or I can tell him.”

“No. Wilbur, he made me build my own execution. He-he told me that it was going to be a fun festival where we could all just relax. But instead, he set a trap, and told Technoblade to kill me.” Tubbo spat out. It was Tommy’s turn to comfort his friend now.

Wilbur turned to Schlatt, who had a deep scowl on his face.

“What do you want me to say, Tubbo?” Schlatt gritted out. “That I shouldn’t have dealt with insubordination? That I should have let you spy? Be in my shoes, Tubbo. I know you’re already halfway there...being president and all.”

That seemed to have struck a chord.

“I am NOTHING like you!” Tubbo shouted, standing up.

Schlatt scoffed.

Things were getting out of hand.

“Schlatt...is what he said true?” Wilbur whispered.

Schlatt glanced at Wil, and seemed to reconsider arguing with Tubbo.

“Yeah…” He conceded, standing up, “He’s right. I made him lose one of his lives for betraying me. I think he’s on his last one.”

Tubbo nodded, still furious.

“What happened next?” Wilbur prodded.

“Wil- you don’t have to push yourself like this-” Schlatt protested, grabbing Wilbur’s sleeve.

“I want to know!” Wilbur snapped.

Schlatt let go of his arm.

"Before the festival, Dream gave you TNT and wanted you to place it under L'Manburg," Tommy said, getting up and putting his hand on Tubbo's shoulder. "Put when you tried to set it off it went wrong."

Wilbur felt his face go white. He couldn't believe he did something that... _evil_.

He suddenly didn't want to hear about the kind of person he was.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore…" Wilbur whispered.

"Come on, Wil. I think that's enough for today." Schlatt whispers, grabbing Wilbur’s hand.

Wilbur nodded.

"I'll...see you guys later. I'll help more with the construction…." Wilbur fades off as Schlatt stood up, pulling Wilbur with him.

"Wilbur?"

Wilbur looked back at Tommy, who was staring at the ground.

"If you really don't remember….be careful around Schlatt." Tommy said, meeting his eyes.

Wilbur felt Schlatt’s grip on his hand tense.

"I'll be okay Tommy." He said as they walked away.

\---

"I'm sorry about back there, Wil. I just….I dunno." Schlatt mumbled, scratching the back of his head.

Wilbur appreciated Schlatt’s attempt at an apology.

"At least...Wil, at least they actually liked you. Even if you did go off the deep end…"

Wilbur wasn't following. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, they were loyal to you to the very end," He said as they walked into camp together. "They….they really seem to love you. Can't exactly say the same for me."

"I'm sure that's not true," Wilbur reassured, glancing over at the snuffed out fire.

Maybe he should get that going again. The place seemed better with it.

"You saw how Alex reacted when he saw me, Wil. When I was alive….I didn't exactly try to make friends." Schlatt said in response, laying down.

Wilbur walked over to their chest and pulled out a flint and steel and some sticks, starting the fire again before laying down next to Schlatt.

"That's what happens when you're an alcoholic manipulative asshole, who knew." Schlatt scowled.

"Hey, you can't control who you were. Neither of us can," Wilbur said, squeezing Schlatt’s leg. "What matters now is just trying to be better."

Schlatt sighed. "Yeah, you're right," he muttered, wrapping his arm around Wil, "You always know just what to say."

Wilbur kept thinking about how Schlatt had argued with Tubbo, even when it turned out he had been speaking the truth. Tubbo was on his last life because of Schlatt.

He remembered the pure anger on Tubbo's face.

_I am NOTHING like you!_

He remembered Tommy telling him about how he had turned crazy, and tried to blow up L'Manburg, but failed.

That crater…..no one had said it….but he knew that it was his fault. Wilbur knew he had tried again, and succeeded.

A pit formed in his stomach and he pressed closer to Schlatt.

….

They had a lot of work to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that this little fic I had the idea for at 2am has hit 3000 hits. Every single bookmark, kudo, and comment means so much to me. You guys are the reason why I push myself to write.
> 
> Nothing much to say about this chapter other than mentioning the copious amount of angst. Hope you guys are still sane. 
> 
> Please consider commenting! Even the littlest bit of encouragement pushes me sooooo much youhavenoidea. I respond to every comment :)
> 
> Sometimes I react to comments I find particularly funny and I post them to my Twitter @fairest_of_lame. Consider following if you wanna see that or some of my terrible attempts at humor.....maybe I'll post some sneak peaks of new chapters...


	8. i can't help falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur has a talk with Sally, and Schlatt and Wilbur move from the campsite.

Wilbur was starting to get tired of their campsite. Sure it wasn’t like it was the worst thing in the world, but he missed having a roof over his head. Like at L’Manburg….and maybe Pogtopia.

He cringed inwardly at the name. He wondered if he came up with it.

“ _I didn’t...Tommy did_.” His inner voice whispered to himself.

How did he know that?

A memory flashed in his mind. A ravine, hanging up lanterns. He heard the laughing of Tommy and Technoblade in the distance.

It was slowly coming back.

Wilbur smiled to himself, a warm feeling blossoming in his chest at the thought of his brothers.

He carefully looked down at Schlatt, who had his head nestled on Wil’s shoulder.

The sun had started to come up. Schlatt’ll wake up anytime now.

Wilbur didn’t want him to.

This feeling that he was beginning to have…..it reminded him of only one other being.

Sally.

….Yes. He needed to see her. Wilbur missed her so much.

And she didn’t even know that he….

A spear of pain hit him.

He had to visit her today.

\---

Schlatt yawned, arching his back and throwing out his arms to stretch.

He almost hit Wilbur in the face.

“Hey!” Wilbur blurted out.

“Oh, sorry babe.” Schlatt replied sleepily.

Babe?

“ _Are me and Schlatt on ‘babe’ level?_ ”, Wilbur thought as Schlatt sat up, rubbing his eyes, “ _I mean we’ve kissed a few times...and cuddled...and slept next to each other…_ ”

Schlatt finished waking up and flashed Wilbur a smile.

“ _What if we are? Is that so bad?_ ”

“Good morning Schlatt.” Wilbur shakily responded.

“Anything on the agenda today, Wil?” Schlatt asked as he got to his feet, walking over to their chest and shrugging on his jacket.

“I was actually going to see Sally today.”

“...Sally? Your old girlfriend?” He looked over at Wil, his brows furrowing.

“Yeah. I haven’t seen her in a while….” Wilbur looks at the ground, “She doesn’t even know I’m dead. I need to tell her so she can…” He clenched his fist. “Move on. You know?”

“Oh- yeah, yeah. Of course.” He crouched down and ruffled Wilbur’s hair, “I’ll leave you be today. I was actually planning on visiting Eret today. So, after you’re done catching up with Sally just head there, okay?”

“Okay.” Wilbur whispered.

He really wanted Schlatt to kiss him. Wilbur angled his head upwards.

Schlatt smirked, and took his hand, holding Wilbur’s chin as he bent down. Wilbur closed his eyes.

He hovered just before touching Wilbur’s lips.

Wil opened his eyes and squirmed.

“You know what I wanna hear, Wil.” Schlatt whispered.

“Please…” Wilbur breathed, and Schlatt captured his lips with his own.

Schlatt’s other hand slipped into the back of his hair and playfully bit on Wil’s bottom lip.

Wilbur sighed into his mouth, and Schlatt pulled away.

“Hey Wil?” Schlatt whispered.

Wilbur looked into his eyes. “Yeah?”

“When you go see Sally,” Schlatt began, his hand pulling back to Wil’s cheek, putting his thumb on Wilbur’s lip, “Remember who you belong to, okay?”

Wilbur felt his cheeks tinge as heat spread over him. He found himself nodding.

“Alright then.” Schlatt said, pulling back. “You can leave now.”

Wilbur’s mouth dropped open. Schlatt’s words sunk into his skin.

He didn’t want to leave.

"Go on now Wil," Schlatt smiled, waving him off.

Wilbur found himself getting up, and after taking one last look, walked away in the direction of the docks.

\----

Wilbur sat down at the edge of the docks, his feet dipping into the water.

He had grabbed his old guitar from nearby, underneath the dock where he last left it.

He didn’t remember the last time he played for her….it had been so long.

Wilbur dumped out the sand to the best of his ability, using his shirt to get the rest.

He strummed and tuned the cords awkwardly.

An aching pain spread through him.

“ _This might be the last time I do this._ ” He thought to himself, and then he began to play.

“Wise men say...only fools rush in,” He sang, his hands moving with the quickness of habit. “But I can’t help falling in love with you.”

“ _What if she doesn’t show?_ ” He asked himself. “ _No, no, she’ll show. She has to._ ”

“Shall I stay? Would it be a sin... if I can’t help falling in love with you?” His hands were shaking as he strummed the cords. “Like a river flows, surely to the sea, darling so it goes...some things..are meant to be…”

The soft crashing of the waves against the shore lulled Wilbur, his eyes closing as he softly played his guitar for her.

And in the distance, he heard her voice, swimming to meet him.

“Take my hand..take my whole life too...for I can’t help..” He saw her head poke out of the water, looking for him.

“Falling in love with you…” They finished together as Wilbur made himself visible.

Sally swam to where he was at the dock.

She looked like she hadn’t aged at all, and she probably hadn’t.

Sirens have ways to stay beyond a normal life span.

Wilbur smiled warmly.

“I missed you Wilby.” Sally whispered, pulling herself up. Her long red hair reached to her tail, still as beautiful as Wilbur remembered.

She turned to him as she sat down, and her green eyes pierced his soul.

She already knew.

He felt tears well in his eyes.

Her hand reached up and hovered over his cheek. “Don’t cry my love.”

He gasped in an attempt to hold in his tears.

“It’s okay. You can tell me.” She purred, taking her hand away.

“Oh Sally, you were always too good for me,” Wilbur forced out, “I messed up.”

She smiled sadly.

“I don’t remember everything, but I did a lot of bad things… and I’m trying to make it better...but it’s so hard.”

“Yes, it will be.” Sally whispered.

Wilbur looked up. “Do you know what I did?”

Sally looks off into the sea. “The earth talks Wilbur. And you did your fair share of detriment to it.”

“Can you tell me?”

“Oh, Wilby, you know that’s not my place to share.”

Wilbur nodded. He anticipated that response.

“How’s our son, Wilbur?”

“Alive. With friends.” Was all Wilbur could say. He didn’t have the heart to mention how much his son hated him. “Sally, I….this is probably the last time. I want you to move on.”

Sally nodded. “Yes.” Was all she said.

“After I remember...and learn how to move on...I’ll be gone.” He looked down into the sea and grimaced at his reflection.

“Yes.”

Wilbur hated this. He knew her too well. She was already shutting herself off.

Like she had done so many times before.

“Sally?” He whispered.

“Yes, my love?”

“Don’t forget me.” He murmured.

“Oh Wilbur,” she said as she slid off the dock and back into the sea. “I don’t think I would be able.”

Wilbur smiled as he felt a tear slide down his cheek. He reached his hand up and rubbed it with his sleeve.

“I’ll watch our son, and show myself when he’s ready.” She looked past him to L’manburg, “Teach him our song before you go.” She smiled, and did a small sniff.

She was about to cry.

She never cried.

“I will. I promise.”

Her head disappeared into the waves.

\---

Wilbur walked under Eret’s towers, stepping into his castle. It loomed menacingly above him, a fortress of rock and a testament to Eret’s power. Wilbur looked up and watched as his rainbow flags flapped in the breeze.

_It was never meant to be._

Wilbur grimaced and trudged into the castle.

He followed the sound of laughter to Eret’s throne room.

Schlatt was leaning against the throne, and Eret was sprawled out on it, relaxed.

Schlatt said something else particularly funny and Eret gasped out in laughter again, holding his stomach.

That didn’t sit well with Wilbur.

Schlatt looked up, noticing Wilbur’s ghost form. He waved him over.

“How’d it go with your old girlfriend, Wil?” Schlatt asked once Wil had gotten to him.

Eret leaned over his throne, looking around for him.

Wilbur grimaced, the pain only a dull ache now as she showed himself.

“Oh, you saw Sally, Wil?” Eret asked.

“Yeah,” Wilbur replied, glancing briefly at Eret but mainly looking at Schlatt, “It went okay. She’s….she’ll be okay without me.”

Schlatt frowned and opened his mouth in an attempt to change the subject. “Eret here was talking about his plans to help out L’Manburg.”

“Oh…” Said Wil, “Like….like before?”

Eret looked down over this throne. Wilbur could see a sliver of his white eyes from underneath his sunglasses as they fell a tad on Eret’s nose.

“Like before.” Eret echoed.

Schlatt looked between them.

“Wilbur,” Eret said, addressing him as he pushed his glasses back up, “I understand your hesitancy...but I hope you understand that at every opportunity, at every clash or agreement between us, all I’ve ever wanted was what was best for this land.”

Eret stood up from his throne and walked over to Wil.

“And on your final day, I fought with you.”

Wilbur looked over at Schlatt to confirm, and Schlatt nodded silently. He looked back at Eret.

“I hope...I hope in death you will come to forgive me.” Eret forced out.

Wilbur’s mouth dropped open. All he could do was nod.

Schlatt reached out and squeezed his hand.

Eret tilted his head down and saw the handhold. Wilbur caught it as Eret smirked.

“Schlatt has...informed me on the predicament of your current housing. You two are welcome to stay with me.”

“Thank you, Eret.” Wilbur forced out.

Eret nodded. “That way,” He said, pointing to a wing of his castle. “Just up the stairs. Pick any guest rooms you want…...the master bedroom of that wing is at the very end of the hall.”

He said the last bit with emphasis.

Schlatt coughed.

“You don’t have to worry about me, I’m in the opposite wing,” Eret said, and started to walk away. “Stay as long as you need.”

“Thanks, King!” Schlatt shouted after him.

Eret’s laugh faded away.

Schlatt looked back to Wilbur.

“Ready to move in?”

\---

It took some time as Schlatt and Wil went through each room. They soon found out the rooms close to the end were the most luxurious, so they picked the ones on either side of the master bedroom door.

All Wil had to do was walk directly across the hall to Schlatt’s room.

Wilbur settled down for the night as Schlatt hovered at Wilbur’s open door.

“What did you and Eret talk about while I was gone?” Wilbur said while exploring his room.  
He remembered the laughter filling the halls.

“Oh, nothing much.”

“Didn’t seem like that by what I heard.”Wilbur responded, barbed.

“Ohhh.” Schlatt said, stepping towards him.

Schlatt grabbed his arm and turned Wilbur around. He grabbed Wil’s chin.

“You jealous, baby?”

Wilbur shook his head.

“It’s fine, it’s alright if you are…” Schlatt murmured, taking his hand off of Wilbur’s chin and sliding it to cup the side of his head, his thumb caressing his cheek.

Wilbur leaned into it.

“Eret was just telling me stories about you guys.”

“Hm?” Wilbur asked.

“You don’t need to worry about him, Wil,” Schlatt whispered, ghosting Wilbur’s lips with his. “He knows you are the only one I want.”

Wilbur hummed.

Schlatt stepped away.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Wil.”

Wilbur stood open-mouthed as Schlatt closed his door.

“ _Why didn’t he kiss me?_ ” He thought to himself. “ _And why do I want him to?_ ”

\---

He tried to sleep that night, but something kept him awake.

He thought it was the absence of torchlight and the fire at the camp, so he got up and lit his fireplace.

That didn’t work.

It took him another hour of laying in the dark before it hit him.

He missed sleeping next to Schlatt.

He got up out of his bed, and softy walked across the hall, opening Schlatt’s door with a soft creak.

Schlatt’s faint snores made Wilbur smile.

He walked up to his bed and crawled in.

Schlatt stirred, turning over to face him. His eyes opened.

“Is this gonna be a normal thing for us?” Schlatt graveled out.

Wilbur smiled.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“No shit. Come ‘ere.” Schlatt said, holding out his arm.

Wilbur snuggled close to him.

Schlatt kissed the top of his head.

“There. You can sleep now.”

And Wilbur did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'd like to thank you all for 4,000 hits. Can't believe it.
> 
> Next, I'd like to officially say that from this point forward things will start to ramp up plotwise (and with Schlatt and Wilbur's relationship) and because of that, the chapters will be longer, which means it will be longer between updates. Hopefully, with Christmas break I can crank one out, but after Christmas break expect longer breaks (maybe around 1-2 weeks). 
> 
> Let's just say that the rating won't have a rating of mature for much longer. 
> 
> Oh, yeah, and another reason this update took a while despite only being about 2,000 words is that I wrote a Technoblade side story! Please consider checking it out, I love it very much. It's called "used to the darkness" and it's a continuation of mysterious Technoblade from this story being found by assassins during his retirement. 
> 
> Also, consider leaving a comment to rag me about this slow burn or the angst. I love reading them and I respond to every single one!
> 
> Twitter is fairest_of_lame! Check me out, I recently made a tweet about a scrapped idea that was gonna be in this but didn't end up including it. 
> 
> Love you all, thank you for the constant support!


	9. broken souls, together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur has another dream, Eret makes a proposal, and Schlatt and Wilbur have a heart to heart about where they stand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my schlattbur playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3dpSHoAb77hPOaQsk6Tq8g?si=scSDt3VmRmCRI-PB7Gdwaw

Technoblade emerged from the mist of the morning, the sunrise peaking above the clouds. Wilbur smiled to himself from his point on the mountain as he heard the crunch of grass.

“You called for me, Wil.”

Wilbur looked down at his bloodied hand, and the knife caked in his blood.

“Yes I did.” Wilbur whispered.

The question hung in the air.

“I didn’t know anyone else to call. You’re the only one who…” Wilbur clenched his fist, gritting his teeth as his blood trickles down his hand and into the grass. “I knew would be there for me. No matter what.”

“What happened?” Technoblade asked as he walked next to Wil and stood at his side, looking off at the sunrise.

Wilbur felt tears rising. “Schlatt exiled us….now, it’s just me and Tommy.”

Technoblade grunted. “And what do you want me to do about it?”

Wilbur blinked in surprise. “Help me.”

Technoblade sighed, meeting Wilbur’s eyes. “Wil, I told you this would happen. No one ever remains in power forever….better to tear the whole thing down.”

Wilbur grimaced. He knew this was coming. “Techno, please,” He reached forward and grabbed Technoblade’s hand, both of his own hands enclosing Techno’s own. “Do it for me.”

Technoblade sighed again and looked down at Wilbur’s hands. Techno felt Wilbur’s blood pool in his own hand. He pulled his hand away and wiped the blood on the grass.

Silence fell between them. A comfortable silence.

Techno looked out into the sunrise.

“For you the world, Wil.”

The scene melted away.

Wilbur shut the chest and patted his hands on his coat as if to alleviate the nervousness inside him.

“What are you doing Wil?” Tommy said.

Wilbur made sure to stand up straight before turning to him.

“What I said I was going to do.” Wilbur replied, a smile already beginning to form on his lips.

Tommy’s face went white. “You’re actually serious? You want to blow it all up?”

Wilbur laughed. “Tommy, I get it, you’re scared. You’re scared that people will think differently of you,” He took a step forward as Tommy took one back, “Tommy when I said you were never gonna be president... you have to understand, that wasn’t a challenge. That’s true.”

Wilbur watched Tommy’s face morph from shock to horror as he leaned over him.

“You’re never gonna be president Tommy. So what’s the point…” He grabbed his shoulder, “If it all goes up in flames?”

The lantern lights above them flickered before going out entirely.

Schlatt stood on the podium yet again, but instead of basking in his glory, he looked disheveled and frightening.

Wilbur watched from his perch as Tubbo was thrown in a cage.

Wilbur felt his blood cool as Tubbo was accused of treachery, and Technoblade was called onto the podium.

JSchlatt looked livid, his suit unbuttoned and ripped in Tubbo’s attempt to get himself free of the cage. His hair was askew, his horns framing his face into a horrible sight to behold.

Wilbur watched as Techno shot the arrow, and listened to Tommy’s screams as the world disintegrated.

\---

He woke to Schlatt’s hand on his forehead.

“You can’t keep doing this.” Schlatt whispered as Wilbur opened his eyes.

“Doing what?” Wilbur asked, sitting up.

“The nightmares.” Schlatt said, and carefully grabbed Wilbur’s chin, turning it to meet him.

His eyes were soft with concern.

Wilbur remembered him during the execution, undone and insane.

He couldn’t believe they were both the same person.

“I don’t think I can stop them,” Wilbur murmured, smiling sadly, putting his hand on Schlatt’s arm. “But you being here does help.”

Wilbur was surprised to see Schlatt’s cheeks tinge pink as he glanced away.

It was Wilbur’s turn to reach up and grab his chin, and as he leaned in they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Schlatt scowled and got up to answer the door. He opened it slightly.

“What’d’ya want?” Schlatt questioned after showing himself.

“Just a moment of Wilbur’s time.” Eret responded.

“...he’s in his room. Check there.” Schlatt grunted out as he attempted to shut the door.

Eret’s foot stopped him.

“We both know he’s not.” Eret said calmly.

Schlatt sighed heavily and looked back at Wil. Wilbur gave a curt nod and Schlatt opened the door, Eret sweeping inside.  
“Wilbur, I’d like to speak to you for a moment.”

“You can’t say it here?” Wilbur questioned after revealing himself.

Eret looked over at Schlatt, “I would prefer not. It’s very...personal.”

Wilbur raised an eyebrow in question.

Schlatt crossed his arms.

Wilbur got up out of the bed. “Sure. Lead the way.”

Eret led him down to his drawing room, and sat down near the fireplace. He motioned for Wilbur to take a seat.

“Wilbur,” Eret began, “I know all of this must be very sudden for you. These last few days must have been very troubling.”

Wilbur looked into the fire. “It hasn’t been all bad.”

“Yes, of course. You’ve had company.”

A strange tension started to permeate the air.

“The reason why I’ve pulled you away is that….I’d like to ask your permission to pursue my goal of adopting Fundy.”

“....What?” Asked Wilbur, surprise and anger flaring inside him.

“Before you get upset, please let me explain.” Eret murmured, pushing up his glasses.

“Like hell I will! I-He’s my-” Wilbur’s voice broke. “He’s my son!”

Eret sighed. “And how well did that go?" He whispered.

Wilbur's words died in his throat.

"Look, Wil, we both know he's had a rough life. There's no point going into it. He just….he needs more than you gave him."

Wilbur felt his lip tremble as Eret continued.

"He's so young and he's been through so much...and when you died...Wil, he still doesn't know how to cope with it all. What I want to do," He reached up and took off his glasses, his white eyes striking Wilbur home. "Is give him a good life. A stable one."

"What I couldn't give him," Wilbur whispered. "Is what you mean."

Eret nodded solemnly. "Wil, let's hope you won't be anchored here forever. You deserve peace. So does Fundy."

Eret reached forward and hovered his hands over Wilbur's.

"I want your permission before you pass onto the next world."

A tear slipped down Wilbur’s cheek. "....You're right, of course. I've been a terrible father. I just thought….I dunno..that I always had the opportunity to make it better. And then...I died before I could," Wilbur sniffled. "Y-you promise to give him the best? Give him….what I couldn't?"

Eret smiled. "I'll give him everything I have," He swiped through Wil's hands. "I promise."

Wilbur hiccuped. "Okay….Eret, you have my permission. Be…..be a better father than I was."

Eret smiled sadly, and picked up his sunglasses, sliding them back on. "Of course." He said, standing up.

Wilbur stood up with him.

"You can go back to Schlatt now. I'm sure he's been missing you."

Wilbur's face turned pink, and he slipped out the door and back up to Schlatt’s bedroom. He slid inside.

"What was- oh Wil." Schlatt got up from his place on the bed and ran over to Wil, enveloping him in a hug.

Wilbur breathed deeply into Schlatt's shoulder.

Schlatt reached up, stroking Wilbur’s hair.

"What happened?" Schlatt asked softly.

"I gave Eret permission to adopt Fundy." Wilbur breathed, another tear slipping down his cheek.

"Oh….Wil…"

They stood for a while wrapped in each other's embrace. Schlatt continued to pet Wilbur’s hair.

Wilbur felt his heart tear further.

He felt like he didn't deserve him.

He remembered all that they had done. All the damage. The destruction. The hurt.

Maybe that wasn't true.

" _Maybe…..maybe we do deserve each other_ ," He thought as he pulled away and looked into Schlatt’s eyes, " _Maybe we are the only ones who can_."

Schlatt cupped his cheek and leaned in.

" _We're meant to be broken souls….together_." He thought as their lips met.

Schlatt pulls away.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Wilbur whispered.

"Keep what?"

"....stopping." Wilbur replied softly.

Schlatt’s mouth dropped open slightly and he looked down.

Wilbur brought his hand up to Schlatt’s face, his thumb pressing on Schlatt’s lip as he pulled his head up to meet his eyes again.

"I don't want you to," Wil whispered. "I feel like….you're scared."

Schlatt gave a soft smile. "Babe…I'm not scared."

"Then what is it? You said it yourself that day when we were talking to Alex. We're the same. It...it doesn't matter the paths we took in life, the choices we made...we both ended up here together."

Wilbur leaned in again. "And I don't think it was an accident."

Schlatt squeezed Wilbur's other hand. "I guess I...I don't want you to regret being around me when you find out all that I am. All that I was."

"You don't think I feel the same way?" Wilbur murmured, dropping his hand on Schlatt's lip. "Schlatt...I think we both know there's no point delaying the inevitable."

Schlatt hummed in agreement.

Wilbur pressed their foreheads together and whispered, "So….let's stop this, okay? Stop acting like you need to hold yourself back from me."

Schlatt took a big inhale before speaking.

"Okay, Wil. I won't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I said that the chapters will be longer, and I will start that after New Years'. This chapter is basically the setup. I have about 2,000 words ready for the next chapter so far, but the end of this chapter was a good conclusion of "the first arc".
> 
> If anybody was wondering what Wilbur did to his hand during the dream sequence, he used a form of blood magic to summon Technoblade. In my side story (used to the darkness) I addressed the otherworldly stuff that Techno is able to do. I wanted to think of a way that Techno could "join the server" in a realistic way, and that's what I came up with. 
> 
> I wrote a lot of other stuff during Christmas Break, that being a Schlattbur called "the christmas exchange" about Schlatt taking Wilbur to a winter festival (and smut ensues), and a Technodream fic about them both getting drunk at Eret's birthday party and some hardcore shit happens. Please consider checking them out if you like my work!
> 
> Thank you for 5000 hits! After this point, I'll stop mentioning it. I don't want to seem like I care all about the numbers, because at the baseline I really don't. I just think it's cool that so many people enjoy what I have to offer. So, thank you all so much.
> 
> Please consider commenting, it makes me so happy. Doesn't matter how long or short it is, I treasure and respond to every single one! 
> 
> Twitter is fairest_of_lame. Dm me....I'm so alone.


	10. debauched worship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a warmth in the eyes  
> And a clearness of thought  
> When the deepest of sighs  
> And the frankest of shadows are gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my schlattbur playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3dpSHoAb77hPOaQsk6Tq8g?si=HZ1E3nrnRweB8NhF1_LD0A

Wilbur felt his heart soar as he heard those words.

He felt Schlatt wrap his arm around his back, his fingers pressing deep in a way that sent a vibration down to his toes. Schlatt leaned in, his lips once again ghosting ever so slightly over Wilbur’s.

It was strange, this juxtaposition that Schlatt had developed around him in comparison to everyone else. This evil tyrant of the past, so willing to just…..exist with him. He didn’t seem as preoccupied with making amends as Wil.

Like he didn’t actually want to move on.

A small part of Wilbur felt guilty for liking Schlatt’s company. He had been so resistant about him the past couple of days, and to be completely honest, Wilbur was just….tired. Tired of trying to justify his attraction to Schlatt in his mind. Tired of pushing away feelings that just felt so right.

All Wilbur knew, that despite it all, he knew that he felt the safest in Schlatt’s arms.

In his he could finally sleep.

“Wil…” Schlatt rasped, his mouth pressing over Wilbur’s neck, leaving Wilbur hot and yearning.

Wilbur wondered, as Schlatt slowly peppered kisses down his neck, what would have happened in their lives if they weren’t so wrapped up in their own ambitions.

Their own pursuits of power that they justified with presidencies.

Or revolutions.

Or by using people.

He’d had this thought before.

\---

Wilbur had managed to sneak into L’Manburg undetected.

Not like he hadn’t done so before, but tomorrow was a special day.

The festival.

The hopeful end of it all.

Wilbur looked up at the sunrise, the heat slowly passing over him.

Who knew when he’d get to experience the next one, at this point.

With the explosives right under his feet.

He needed to find Schlatt.

Wilbur didn’t know how long he stood on top of that hill overlooking his stolen country til he spotted the familiar horned figure in the distance, heading towards the White House. Wilbur followed him and watched as Schlatt walked inside, and after a beat of making sure they weren’t being tailed, Wilbur followed, slipping in after him.

“....Come to gloat?” Schlatt asked, leaning up against his desk.

“Why would I do that?” Wilbur replied, slowly shutting the door.

He looked around the White House.

It was different from when he left it.

Of course, the flag had been replaced, that awful monstrosity taking its place, but it wasn’t just that. The books that at one point filled the shelves in an orderly fashion were now spread haphazardly across the room, many decorating the room in a clear picture of agitation and delirium. Many were open, much to Wilbur’s satisfaction, on pages covered in the bright highlighted ink of Wil’s previous research. Paper, in equal share, crumpled, ripped, and complete, littered the floor and desk space of Schlatt’s administration office.

And of course, an addition in the corner behind the desk. A small table that consisted of Schlatt’s endless collection of alcohol, glasses, and cigarettes.

The office was nothing short of a metaphor for the entirety of Schlatt’s presidency.

“Oh, I dunno, just thought you’d like to say a couple words. Ya know, given that you obviously have something planned for tomorrow.” Schlatt’s hand slipped into his pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. He tapped the bottom of the box, and bit one, pulling it up and slipping the box back into his pocket. He grabbed the lighter that was sitting on his desk and after a couple clicks succeeded in lighting the end of the cigarette.

The smoke started to permeate the air, the cloud swirling around Schlatt’s head and horns.

“No….I didn’t come for that.” Wilbur whispered out, stepping closer to Schlatt.

Schlatt raised an eyebrow. “Then what’re you here for, loverboy?”

“I- wait- since when have I been ‘loverboy’?”

“Since I met you.” Schlatt graveled out, taking a long drag.

For a while they just stared at each other.

“What- want a cig or something?” Schlatt blurted out, glancing away from Wilbur’s unrelenting stare.

“You remember the first day you showed up Schlatt? When we met?”

Schlatt put out his butt on the ashtray. “Yes.”

Wilbur looked at the space between them.

He wished he could step closer.

Tell him that he wished things were different.

“What happened to us, Schlatt?” Wilbur whispered. Schlatt looked up. “Where did it go wrong?”

Schlatt stood up, pushing off of his desk. He walked over to his alcohol table, pouring himself a glass. “It went wrong when I realized what I could gain by winning.”

“....What were you gaining?” Wilbur whispered into the empty space between them.

“What were _you_ gaining?” Schlatt shot back over his shoulder.

“ _Power_ ,” Wilbur thought to himself. But that isn’t what he ended up saying.

“Independence.” Wilbur replied.

Schlatt turned around and scoffed into his glass, swallowing the majority in a single gulp. “Keep telling yourself that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Wilbur questioned, finally stepping forward into the wide chasm between them.

Schlatt set down his glass, the small sound of glass hitting wood echoing throughout the silence. “What that means, Wil, is at least I’m not lying to anyone.” He said, finally meeting Wilbur’s eyes.

“Wil,” Schlatt began, his eyes swiping around the office, “I think we both know how this will end.”

Wilbur grimaced. “How?”

“With either of us dead,” Schlatt whispered, “...or...or both. And L’Manburg a crater in the ground.”

Wilbur took a step back. “ _Does he know?_ ” He thought to himself. “ _No...there’s no way._ ”

“If not by you, but by someone or something else,” Schlatt continued, leaning against the desk again. “Wil, I think we both know that this place,” He held his arms out like he was gesturing to his office, but Wilbur knew better. His arms wrapped up all of L’Manburg. “Was never meant to last.”

_It was never meant to be._

Wilbur felt his hands shake, and he clenched them at his side.

He sought out Schlatt for one last chance at surrender, the calm before the storm. But now he knew. Schlatt would never surrender, because he knew what would happen to him since the minute he took office.

He knew that he would self implode by the end.

His presidency was like a beautiful suicide note.

They were more alike than he thought.

Wilbur felt himself walking back till he felt his foot hit the door.

“I can’t wait to see what you have planned for tomorrow, Wil. You’ve never been one to disappoint.” Schlatt murmured, staring daggers into Wilbur. “It would be really embarrassing if you drop the ball.”

Wilbur saw Schlatt's hand grip the bottom of the desk, the veins on his hands protruding in a way that made Wilbur’s hair stand up.

“Now get the _fuck_ out of my office.” Schlatt growled.

Wilbur spun around as fast as possible, wrenching the door open and fleeing outside.

\---

Wilbur was brought out of his memory by Schlatt’s hands slipping up his shirt. He raised his arms, and smiled at Schlatt’s face as he slung it across the room. Schlatt slowly kissed his neck, his hands returning to Wilbur’s waist as he gradually worked his way down Wilbur’s chest.

“Schlatt,” Wilbur whined out after the other man’s lips ghosted over his right nipple, “I don’t know how much longer I can stand…”

Schlatt chuckled, “Sorry, babe.”

Schlatt stood up, and grabbed Wilbur’s hands, slowly pulling him to the bed. Wilbur took the cue and fell back onto it, Schlatt successfully climbing over him to resume his pursuit on Wil’s body.

Schlatt’s mouth peppered Wilbur’s skin. Wilbur felt his hands curl into the sheets, gasping when Schlatt’s mouth encircled his pert nipple.

Wilbur’s heart felt so unbelievably _light_.

The feeling that in a strange, twisted, fucked up way, they were always meant for each other.

Their pasts reflected upon each other in the most strangest way possible, always bringing them back together.

And now, in death, they could no longer ignore or set aside their feelings.

The things that kept them apart no longer applied, and the only thing remaining between them is the raw emotion that they _fit_.

Wilbur moaned as Schlatt bit his chest, and started to suck.

A wayward thought passed through his mind as he attempted to stay grounded to reality, “ _Is he...marking me?_ ”

Wilbur hissed in pain as Schlatt bit down on him again, this time on the raw area he had just cultivated.

Wilbur heard a soft “Sorry” as Schlatt kissed the area, and proceeded to continue downwards towards Wil’s lower chest and hips.

Wilbur felt himself involuntarily buck into Schlatt as he kissed right above Wilbur’s pants.

He heard Schlatt chuckle again, and felt as Schlatt grabbed at his pants, stilling. Wilbur looked down at him, making eye contact.

“Yes.” Wilbur whispered, answering Schlatt’s unspoken question.

The answer has always been yes.

Wilbur felt ethereal as Schlatt slowly undressed him.

It was like reverence.

Wilbur gasps softly as his body met the air.

He couldn’t remember the last time he was...this open.

Not that he cared to remember. All he wanted to do in this moment was look at his partner.

Wilbur sat up on his elbows, and raised an eyebrow as Schlatt’s state of dress compared to his own.

Schlatt looked down and smiled in recognition. He sat up to unbutton his shirt, but Wilbur followed him, grabbing his hand.

Wilbur could hardly believe himself as he grabbed Schlatt’s shirt, deliberately loosening each button from it’s hold. Once he got to the bottom, his hands reached upwards, delicately exploring Schlatt’s chest before slipping the sleeves off of his arms. Wilbur’s hands ghosted over Schlatt’s chest hair, loving the way the coarse hair met his fingers.

Schlatt hummed softly, looking down at Wil.

Wilbur thumbed over Schlatt’s nipple, and he loved the exhale that the action forced out of him.

He wasn’t surprised to feel Schlatt’s hand grab his chin, pulling him upwards to meet his lips.

A measured movement of mouths, meeting each other in a way that they never could while alive.

A soft bite, igniting a snarl in Schlatt that slid down Wilbur’s spine and straight down to his toes.

Unintelligible breaths and whispers that will never be articulated.

Wilbur’s hands pressed against Schlatt’s hips, and felt Schlatt’s large palm cover his own as Wil carefully unzipped Schlatt’s pants, and those too met the ground.

Wilbur couldn’t resist stopping for a bit as he saw the outline of Schlatt’s sex underneath his boxers.

For the first time in his existence, the weight of what he was doing settled upon him as intimidation set in.

He had never done this before.

Like he knew, Schlatt’s hand carefully touched his cheek. “Don’t worry Wil, I’ll take care of you.”

A blossom of warmth exploded in Wilbur’s heart as Schlatt slowly lowered him back down.

Wilbur shivered as he felt Schlatt’s hands slide up his leg, stopping at his upper thigh.

“I’m going to prep you, okay, Wil? I need you to tell me if it hurts.” Schlatt murmured.

Wilbur nodded nervously.

Then, he felt Schlatt slowly reach down, and ghost over his hole. His finger pressed up against it.

“Relax…” Schlatt whispered.

Wilbur laughed shakily, “I don’t think I can…”

“Try…” Schlatt replied, and got down on his knees at the foot of the bed.

“What’re you do- _ooooohhhh_...” Wilbur moaned as Schlatt started to kiss his thighs. Then..up and up and up and-

Schlatt’s hand wrapped around Wilbur’s erection, fully hard at this point due to the steady incline of passion. Wilbur gasped brokenly.

Then, a soft kiss along his shaft. He arched his body as he felt Schlatt’s mouth travel upwards, and caress Wil’s head with his lips.

Wilbur mewled as Schlatt wrapped his mouth around Wilbur’s dick, sinking down. He was so preoccupied that he hardly felt Schlatt’s deft finger slide into his hole.

It was only when Schlatt’s long finger _curled_ that Wilbur realized, gasping.

Schlatt slid his mouth off, kissed the head again, and looked up with a smile.

Wilbur felt his face heat up, using his arm to hide his eyes. Schlatt hummed again, inserting a second finger.

“Ohhhh...please..” Wilbur moaned as Schlatt slid his fingers inside of Wil, slowly pumping in and out.

Wilbur felt lightheaded as pinpricks of pain shot through him, but he pushed past it. All he wanted at that moment was to feel Schlatt. His fingers, his mouth, his body pressed up against his as close as possible.

Wilbur whined, bucking into the air.

“So impatient…” Schlatt murmured, “I know Wil, soon, I promise…”

The third finger caused Wilbur to cry out, tears pricking his eyes. Schlatt waited till his breathing stilled before moving his fingers inside.

He’d never felt this before. Not just the sex, but the feeling of vulnerability that this gave him.

The patience and understanding by Schlatt made him melt further.

All he knew was that right then, at that moment, he wanted him _bad_.

Wilbur whined again.

Schlatt looked up. “What, Wil? What do you want?”

Right at those words, Schlatt curled his fingers inside Wilbur, making Wilbur gasp.

“You! Please…” Wilbur mewled, “I need you..now…”

Schlatt sucked in air through his teeth. “Fuck, Wil…” He huskily whispered.

His fingers slid out of Wilbur with a soft squelch.

Wilbur moaned in mourning of their absence, but then felt something else.

He looked down. Schlatt had discarded his boxers and now his huge dick was pressing against Wilbur’s hole.

A spike of fear shot through Wilbur. Not because he didn't want this, but because he was afraid that Schlatt wasn't going to _fit._

Schlatt sensed his hesitancy, his hand squeezing his thigh, "Hey, Wil. Look at me."

And he did.

"I've got you. Okay? I've got you."

" _He's got me._ " Wilbur thought before he felt Schlatt slowly push inside.

Wilbur gasped, his back arching. It hurt slightly, but the overwhelming feeling beyond that was feeling stretched and so so unbelievably whole.

Like he finally found a missing piece that connected him to Schlatt.

Schlatt pressed further, and Wilbur desperately grabbed the bed, fingers digging up fistfulls of bedsheets.

Schlatt stilled and waited for Wilbur's world to stop blurring at the edges, for Wilbur to slow his breathing and re-adjust to Schlatt inside him.

Wilbur whined, "Please…"

And Schlatt slowly started to move.

Wilbur couldn’t contain himself as strangled whimpers slipped out of his mouth when he felt Schlatt push into him.

Soft gasps permeated the thick air between them.

Schlatt’s restrained groans filled Wilbur’s ears. Even the smallest noise from Schlatt provoked another wave of indescribable lust that pooled at Wilbur’s groin.

To know that he was making those sounds because of him.

Schlatt’s hands found their haven on Wilbur’s waist, almost like he was pulling Wilbur to him with every slow thrust.

Wilbur’s passion churned inside him like a fierce storm. He whined and grabbed Schlatt’s hands with his own.

“Schlatt,” Wilbur breathed helplessly,” Please...more..”

Schlatt snarled, something deep and feral, his eyes dropping down to look as his dick disappeared inside of his partner.

“Oh, what you do to me, Wil,” He mumbled, and slammed himself into Wilbur.

Wilbur howled, tears appearing in the corner of his eyes.

Wilbur felt his hand intertwine with Schlatt, their fingers linking together in a way that was, in a way, somehow more intimate than the sex.

He felt Schlatt rub his thumb into the backside of his hand as he rode the waves of Schlatt’s seemingly unending lust.

His heart soared as he heard Schlatt’s raspy breaths, in a strange way proud that he was making him undone like this.

He couldn’t stop looking at him, loving the way his horns bent in a beautiful display of his face, now gleaming faintly with sweat. His hair draped over his eyes, haphazard and frazzled. And his hazel brown eyes, piercing yet mellow, meeting Wil’s own, sending a shock straight down Wilbur’s body.

Schlatt leaned down as far as he could, breathing Wilbur’s own pitiful air.

Wilbur couldn’t stop himself as he wrapped his other hand around Schlatt’s horn.

Schlatt slowed down as he did so, his mouth draping open in a kind of rapt awe.

Schlatt moved his hand that was still grasping Wilbur’s own, placing it above Wilbur’s head.

Schlatt bent down to meet Wilbur’s hungry lips, an impassioned moan ripping out of him.

Wilbur gasped into his mouth.

It was all so _much_.

This strong feeling stroking his core, shooting spikes and tendrils through his body like wayward fireworks.

He didn’t know how much longer he could hold himself back as Schlatt pounded into him, now kissing his neck in a debauched form of worship.

Schlatt wrapped his hand in his, holding onto him like he was a life raft that stopped him from floating away into undoing.

Wilbur’s other hand clutching Schlatt’s horn like he never wanted him to let go, to never be separated.

The feeling of Schlatt filling him up so completely.

He never wanted it to end.

But as he felt each thrust, each kiss, each unwavering promise, he felt it reaching its conclusion.

He felt Schlatt’s mouth ghost his ear, “Babe...I’m close…”

“Yes..” Wilbur panted, feeling himself swell with Schlatt’s words.

Schlatt sat up, and gave a few more striking thrusts, each making Wilbur plea for release.

And it came, the white tendrils of Wilbur’s desire spilling onto his chest.

Wilbur felt Schlatt’s cock pull out of him just in time, Schlatt’s own shooting onto Wilbur’s body.

Stars prickled Wilbur’s vision as he came down from the sex-fueled high, hardly noticing as Schlatt’s hand slipped out of his as he stepped back and away, sliding into the bathroom.

He came back, carefully wiping away the traces of each other, but not without leaning down to kiss Wilbur long and slow.

Wilbur crawled up and into the sheets as Schlatt came back, ushering him in. Schlatt smiled with a look so soft it crashed into Wilbur’s final defense of his heart.

Wilbur turned over so that Schlatt could wrap his arms around his chest, their bodies pressing against each other. Wilbur’s hair stood as he felt Schlat’s face pressing into the back of his neck, breathing him in.

“I’m glad you’re here with me, Wil,” Schlatt murmured into Wilbur’s skin.

“I am too.” Wilbur whispered back.  
\---

Wilbur honestly couldn’t recall how long they stayed there, but he had an inkling as the sun stretched longer through the windows of Schlatt’s bedroom.

He couldn’t believe that after something like that, the world somehow kept spinning. And that it was just _noon_.

As he snuggled with Schlatt, Schlatt’s hand somehow finding his hair again, he thought about his morning.

He knew that now, after that conversation, he and Eret were on common ground. He no longer had any grudge against Eret for his betrayal, and Eret seemed to have no quarrel with Wilbur other than where Fundy was concerned, which was now being resolved.

“ _Well,_ ” He thought as Schlatt lazily played with his hair, “ _That’s one down for ascension._ ”

But...did he really want to?

Now that he had Schlatt, did he really want to move on?

He pushed that thought to the back of his mind.

It didn’t matter if he wanted to ascend or not, what matters is helping the others heal from him and Schlatt’s mistakes. They deserved to be relieved from their guilt...and trauma.

Pain crept into his heart at the thought of Alex, utterly wrecked and struggling to pick up the pieces of his mind following Schlatt’s death.

Wilbur turned around, facing Schlatt.

Schlatt let out a soft grunt as he was separated from playing with his hair.

“I want you to try to talk to Quackity today.”

Schlatt’s eyes shot open, then narrowed. “Why?”

“He deserves an apology, Schlatt.”

Schlatt sucked in a breath and turned so that his back was flat on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “I think he got what was coming to him.”

Wilbur blinked. He didn’t expect that response. “That’s not true, and you know it.”

Wilbur saw Schlatt’s mouth morph into a frown. “Maybe.”

“Schlatt...I know you felt like you did the only thing you could at the time,” Wilbur reached over to Schlatt’s hand, “But he has so much….pain. And you’re the only one who can help him.”

“Why me?” Schlatt whispered.

“Because you’re the only one he will listen to, and you know it.”

Schlatt opened his mouth to speak but closed it.

“I want you to at least try,” Wilbur breathed, squeezing his hand, “For me.”

Schlatt met his eyes. “Fine. For you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote two times what I usually write for an average chapter...would you believe me if I said I had a lot more planned but decided to cut it short so I could have an update out in time?
> 
> Anyways...I hope you guys liked this chapter because I sure do. This shit might be my magnum opus of sex scenes so far. 
> 
> I hoped you liked the flashback scene because there's going to be (hopefully) a lot more of that in the future of me going off-script to delve more into Schlatt and Wil's past relationship. 
> 
> Oh, yeah, if you guys don't mind telling me your personal favourite MCYT AO3 fics in the comments, I've really been slacking in the reading department since I've started writing and I want to get back into it. Here, I'll go first: thanks, bastards! by antsu_in_my_pantsu. It's a dnf cowboy fic series and it hits real good mmmmm. 
> 
> As usual, please consider commenting, I love that shit! I read all and respond to the majority.
> 
> And uhhhh, my Twitter is fairest_of_lame. Think about following if you want to see teasers of upcoming chapters/works, updates, and general madness.


	11. before, in between, and the next

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See, I'm not so assured  
> Nor unusually strong  
> Or outstandingly brave  
> I'm more just fumbling around in the dark  
> For the bulk of my day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my schlattbur playlist I made for this fic: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3dpSHoAb77hPOaQsk6Tq8g?si=sALoINHnQZCisaYq8HG4fQ

They stared into each other's eyes, brown pupils reflecting back into one another, for a period of comfortable silence.

So much changed over the past couple of days.

Wilbur thought back to when he first woke up, seeing his father crying over his cold corpse, reaching out for physical connection but to no avail.

Well, now he had it, but with his arch-enemy in life.

And somehow despite this strange fact, it made sense, as if both of them had an unspoken understanding that if their paths had diverged even the slightest they would have ended up together regardless.

In life or in death.

They were always there, ready for each other, like constants of the universe that never had a chance to intersect.

Life always had other plans for them.

Responsibilities and ideals that kept them from drifting too close to each other.

Wilbur watched as Schlatt sat up and stretched his arms over his head, groaning at the release.

Schlatt swung his legs out over his side of the bed, and proceeded to link his hands together and push them out in front of him, popping his knuckles as well as the joints in his arms.

Wilbur smiled as he saw Schlatt’s back morph and move as he slowly righted himself.

Schlatt replicated the same motion but behind his back, then grabbed his shoulder with one arm and started to rotate the other.

Wilbur observed with interest as Schlatt’s shoulder blades hunched and contorted.

Fully aware of his actions, Schlatt looked back at Wil with a grin.

Wilbur felt his cheeks warm and he glanced away.

“You gonna do anything while I talk with Quackity?” Schlatt asked, finally standing up.

“I dunno...I think I might stop by L’Manburg, help with more of the construction. Maybe try to talk to Fundy again.”

Schlatt hummed. “Don’t push it Wil. I’m sure whatever you can’t resolve Eret will help ya with.”

Wilbur nodded. “Yeah, I know….but he’s still my son….and I made a promise to Sally I’d do something before I leave.”

“ _Before I leave._ ” Wilbur’s internal voice bounced around in Schlatt’s head.

Wilbur saw Schlatt’s mouth harden as he stood up, slipping on his boxers and pants.

Something Wilbur couldn’t place saturated the air. Something tense and barbed.

Wilbur decided to brush it aside.

Wilbur mourned as Schlatt shrugged on his shirt, his hands moving deftly over the buttons.

Schlatt looked over at his jacket and tie, and decided against putting it on. He walked back over to Wil, who hastily moved over to the side of the bed to meet him. He leaned down, and kissed Wilbur lightly.

“It’ll be okay, Schlatt. Just be honest with him.” Wilbur whispered as they pulled away.

Schlatt grunted in protest.

“Try, Schlatt. Try.”

He nodded, standing up, and with one last lingering look, slipped out the door.

Wilbur looked around the room at the disaster that they had left behind. Rumpled sheets, Wilbur’s clothes tossed haphazardly around the space. The memory of what they had done was burned into his mind. It was almost like Wilbur could still feel Schlatt’s strong hands wrapped around his waist, Schlatt’s breath hot in his ear as they melded together.

Wilbur slowly got up, attempting to ignore the ache between his legs as he stood up, slowly putting on his clothes. He crossed the hallway to his own room, and opened his bedside drawer, Techno’s compass resting in the empty chamber.

So much had happened over the last couple of days, he had almost forgotten about it’s existence.

He picked it up, the cold metal lying firmly in his hand. He watched the needle, which for the past couple days pointed firmly north, begin to twitch.

Technoblade was on the move.

\---

For the first time since his death JSchlatt felt his hands shake as he raised his fist to knock on Quackity’s door.

It was strange, how hindsight changes things.

How stupid it all was.

The instant he saw Wilbur crying in that church it was like everything slid into place.

Those innocent eyes reflected everything back onto him, highlighting his sins.

Every time he opened his mouth he cursed himself for it, a deep pit forming in his stomach.

Like the feeling he felt way too many times to count. The feeling of alcohol burning his senses and inhibitions, leading to arguments and broken glass. The feeling of aching in his heart that spread down his limbs, slowly immobilizing himself to a point that he knew that if L’Manburg didn’t kill him, then his habits would.

His habits of self-destruction that destroyed every relationship he ever had.

Alex.

Tubbo.

Fundy.

….Even Wilbur.

And Wilbur asked him to try. To try to bite his lip and resist the temptation to argue, to bury himself even further into the ground.

He would do it for him.

He heard shuffling from behind the door, and Schlatt made himself visible with a wince.

Quackity opened the door with one hand, scratching his head with the other. He blinked lazily and looked up.

His eyes widened.

And before Schlatt could even get a word in, the door shut in his face.

Schlatt cursed. “Alex, come on, I just wanna talk.”

“No! Fuck off!”

Schlatt found himself grinning despite the harshness of the situation. “Babes….”

“FUCK! OFF!” Quackity shouted from the other side of the door.

“I’m not gonna leave till I see you.” Schlatt said, banging on the door again.

“Then I hope you don’t mind sitting out there forever!”

“I can wait it out bumpkin...I’m a damn ghost!” Schlatt called back through the door.

JSchlatt heard Quackity swear, stomping around the house. He heard things smashing from inside.

He tried not to think too much about the bottles that littered Alex’s house on a previous visit.

How most of them were his own.

Remnants of the person he was.

JSchlatt sat up against the door. “I know you’re still there, Quackity. Let me inside.”

“Why are you even fucking here?” He heard Alex’s voice ask from the other side.

Schlatt sighed, debating whether it was worth it to be honest. “Wilbur wanted me to.”

Silence.

“Why?”

“Redemption or whatever.”

“And...you just let him tell you what to do?” Quackity questioned, incredulous.

“.....Open the door, Alex.” Schlatt spoke instead of answering his question, standing up.

He heard the lock turn and the door swing open. Quackity stood at the entrance, arms crossed.

It didn’t escape Schlatt how Quackity roamed his eyes over his body before stepping back so that Schlatt could walk inside.

“Come on in, asshole.”

\---

Despite the fact that Technoblade was his brother, seeing that axis twitch on the compass sent a spike of fear down his spine.

Ever since Techno gave him the compass, it was steadily pointing north. Wilbur assumed that he was most likely relaxing in retirement, like he had before Wilbur called him away to help in his attempt to reclaim L’Manburg.

There was only one reason why Technoblade would be moving now.

If he deemed his work as not finished.

Dread seemed to seep from the compass into his hands and down his arms.

He had pushed it to the back of his mind when Techno had appeared that night, and again later to visit him. Now, the seriousness of Techno’s alleged intentions were swimming around in Wilbur’s mind.

What was Technoblade seeking to accomplish?

Wilbur watched as the compass started to twitch harder, then violently point to the south, then start to spin.

“ _What does it mean when it’s spinning?_ ” Wilbur thought to himself, “ _Would that mean that-shit!_ ”

Wilbur tossed the compass onto his bed and sprinted down the stairs, wincing at the pain that Schlatt had caused as he raced down.

He crossed the threshold of the main hall, and froze as he found exactly what he was looking for.

Technoblade, his cape billowing out from under him, looking up at Eret from his spot on the throne.

"They left the campsite," Technoblade grunted out, looking around. "I just want to know if you've seen them."

Wilbur saw Eret shift on his throne, his head propped up on his hand.

"Oh, so now you want my help?" Wilbur saw the brief flash of a grin. "I thought you didn't like kings."

"I don't," Technoblade gritted out. "Look, just tell me if you've seen Wilbur, Schlatt, or both, and I'll be on my way."

Eret contemplated this. "Why do you wanna know?"

Wilbur heard the faintest of growls rip out of Techno's throat.

"I just want to keep an eye on my brother….we both know the kind of influence that Schlatt can be." Technoblade deadpanned, shifting his feet slightly.

Eret hummed at that. "What's in it for me?"

Wilbur could practically sense Techno's eye roll as he dug into his pocket, pulling out a small bag. "Half stack of emeralds."

"Deal." Eret said, and caught the bag as Techno tossed it up to him.

"So? Seen him?" Technoblade asked, straight to the point.

"Yes."

"Where?"

"He's living upstairs."

Techno visibly bristled. "What?"

"Yeah. Schlatt asked if they could stay here."

Technoblade looked frantically around the entrance hall, then his eyes locked onto Wilbur.

Wilbur shivered, making himself visible.

"H-hey." Wilbur stammered out.

"I'll leave you to it." Eret said as Techno zeroed in on Wilbur, stalking over to him.

Wilbur took a hesitant step back.

"Care to take this up to your room?" Technoblade drawled, and Wilbur nodded, hastily ascending up the stairs.

He ushered Technoblade inside, and watched as Techno took a long look around his room, then zeroing in on the compass tossed on his bed, still spinning frantically. Wilbur grabbed it, slipping it back into its drawer.

"So…."

"How long have you been here?" Technoblade asked.

"We got here last night."

"Really? This bed doesn't look like it."

" _Shit._ " Wilbur thought, panicking. If Technoblade found out about him and Schlatt he had no idea what he'd do.

"I uh- I made the bed." Wilbur whispered.

"You never made the bed when we were kids. I always made it." Techno replied.

"What can I say? Death changed me, I'm a new man."

"I doubt that," Techno said, going straight to the point. "Gonna tell me the truth now?"

Wilbur frowned. "You don't trust me?"

"Nothing to do with trust, I just know when you're lying." Techno shot back, dodging his question.

"....I slept in Schlatt’s room." Wilbur whispered so quietly that Techno had to flick his ear in his direction to hear it.

Techno sighed so deeply Wilbur thought he'd run out of air.

"You're joking." Techno graveled out.

"Um...no?"

"I thought you had more sense than that, Wilbur."

"....excuse me?"

"I mean, I know what you were like when you asked for my help, but I thought that after you died you would stop making stupid decisions." Techno growled, making a show of adjusting himself while he sat at the foot of Wilbur’s bed.

Wilbur bristled, standing up straight. "He's not a stupid decision."

"Oh? Enlighten me then."

"He-I can tell he wants to change." Wilbur began hesitantly. There's no way Wil could put into words the unexplainable connection they have, the lingering touches, how right he felt inside of his arms. "He's making an effort. I actually just sent him out to Alex’s today."

Technoblade laughed, the high cackle filling the room. "He let you tell him what to do?"

Wilbur felt heat rise to his face. "I didn't tell him to do anything. I asked."

"Same difference."

"Not in the slightest, actually." Wilbur muttered, placing his hand on his hip, looking down at Technoblade.

Techno sighed again, and reached up to grab his mask, sliding it off his face to look at Wilbur directly. “Schlatt is literally the most terrible person I’ve had the misfortune of interacting with.”

“I doubt that..” Wilbur managed, hating how Techno’s eyes pierced into his soul.

“He literally forced me to kill Tommy’s best friend in front of you and the rest of L’Manburg.”

“That was one time.”

“He literally burned down everything you ever built...and then laughed about it!” Techno growled, standing up, forcing Wilbur back, “I may not have cared about your little government escapades, but I know that you did.” Techno clenched his fists at his sides.

“I don’t understand how you can even...look at him, knowing what you do now about his past...much less fucking sleep with him? Are you kidding me?” Technoblade snarled, grabbing Wilbur’s shirt.

“I did horrible stuff too, Techno!” Wilbur blurted out.

Technoblade blinked, his grasp on Wilbur’s shirt loosening.

“You weren’t like him.” Technoblade breathed into the small space between them, letting go of his shirt fully like he was embarrassed for doing so.

“Look, I just need you to trust me.” Wilbur replied, attempting to change the direction of the conversation instead of addressing how similar him and Schlatt actually were.

“Like that’s worked out so well before.” Technoblade said, his voice barbed.

Wilbur flinched.

“Wilbur....I gave your vision _everything I had!_ And you _still_ died on me...Leaving me alone to deal with your problems.” Technoblade’s voice rose, emotion slipping into his traditional monotone.

“I-I know-” Wilbur said, attempting to interrupt.

“No-you really don’t!” Techno snapped, “And now you’re telling me that I’m supposed to just sit by and watch Schlatt...do whatever he’s doing to you?”

Wilbur’s mouth dropped open. He didn’t know what to say.

Technoblade _never_ got angry with him.

“Yes.” Wilbur felt himself saying.

Technoblade glared at him.

“Techno...I’m not gonna be here forever.” Wilbur continued, slowly reaching forward in an attempt to take Techno’s hand.

Technoblade took a step back, his legs hitting the bed, his hand sliding back into his cloak.

“I can’t be a ghost forever. I know that,” Wilbur shakenly said, hurt at Techno’s adverse reaction to him. “Schlatt has shown me that he wants to fix things, just like I want to. He…I know what he did. I know what kind of person he was. But he’s changing…. I can feel it.”

“You think a couple days with you can change his entire worldview?” Techno snarled.

“I know it sounds stupid,” Wilbur blurted out, “And naive, but...we both changed, Techno. I’m not the person I was before I died….and he isn’t either.”

Technoblade groaned, his hand sliding up into his hair. “Why are you even trying to convince me? Just let me hate him.”

Why was he trying to convince him? That’s a good question.

“Because...because I know you’re the only one to can help me. One final time.” Wilbur breathed.

Technoblade dropped his hand from his hair. “What?”

“Techno...you’re the only one who can convince some of the others that Schlatt deserves to be forgiven.”

“ _I_ don’t even believe he deserves to be forgiven!” Technoblade bit back in retaliation, his hand on his heart in emphasis.

“So you think he deserves to just haunt everyone forever? To....never be able to feel the grass again...to see everyone enjoy life without him, and not be able to die fully?” Wilbur reached out for Techno, but almost like he was proving his point, his hand went clean through before he could even remember that he couldn’t touch him. “Techno...to be so close but so far away, it’s a fate worse than death.”

Tears gathered in Wilbur’s eyes. “I am the only one he can touch. And when I’m gone…..he’ll be all alone. Do you really want that, even for him?”

Technoblade stared at the ceiling, refusing to look at Wilbur.

“I don’t know.” Techno admitted.

“You know what it’s like to be untouchable,” Wilbur persisted. “To...not form meaningful connections. So you have to understand what we’re both experiencing right now.”

Technoblade’s mouth twitched. “So I have to be the one to help you...again?”

Wilbur felt guilt stir in his stomach.

“Do you remember what you told me, that morning I summoned you?”

Technoblade sunk back down on the bed again, propping his elbow on his knee and rubbing his face.

“ ‘For you the world, Wil.’ ” Technoblade recited, tiredness dripping from his voice, the fight gone.

“This is the last thing I’ll ever ask you, Techno. We both know it.” Wilbur said, dropping to his knees in front of his brother.

“So you want me to lie?” Technoblade whispered. “Tell them that I think Schlatt deserves redemption so that you can go into your happily ever after…” He clenches his fist, “Without me.”

At that last whisper, that silent confession in the lines between Techo’s words, that Wilbur felt himself break.

Technoblade didn’t want to be alone again.

“You know I’ll always be here,” Wilbur whispered. “Before, in between, and the next.”

Technoblade’s mouth twitched again. “....you’re an asshole, Wilbur. You really are.”

Despite the sadness, a smile creeped onto Wilbur’s face. “I know.”

\---

Schlatt kicked a bottle as he walked into Quackity’s house, sending it spinning to crash against a wall with a loud bang.

“For the love of GOD, please don’t destroy my house. You haven’t even been here a minute and you’re already wrecking shit.” Alex shot behind him as he walked into his living room.

“Just like the fucking White House.” Alex muttered as he collapsed onto the couch.

Schlatt glanced around before hesitantly sitting down.

He didn’t know where to start.

How could he begin to explain his changes, how much he’s learned being around Wilbur?

Where could he even start to reverse his damage?

“Alex, I…” Schlatt began, but was quickly interrupted.

“I can’t fucking believe you,” Quackity began, leaning forward towards him. “The fucking _nerve!_ It’s actually kind of impressive.”

“...what?”

“I’ve been thinking about you ever since you had that heart attack in the van...I can’t get you out of my head! Just thinking about you...looking at me..like I was the fucking problem…” Quackity’s voice shook with emotion, though Schlatt couldn’t tell if it was anger or sadness.

“I knew shit was off when I noticed some stuff was stolen the day you died,” Quackity continued, “But then _Wilbur_ turning up at my door like everything was peachy keen-and like I didn’t watch him blow up L’Manburg a couple days before-” Quackity swore again, and Schlatt noticed how his hands shook before he shoved them into his pockets. “Then- then, you showed up, acting all full of yourself like you _always do!_ ”

Schlatt tried to insert himself but Alex held up a hand.

“Don’t you dare!” Quackity spit. “You had your chance to talk, bash, and insult me your entire presidency, now's my time to talk!”

Schlatt fell back into the couch. Best to ride this one out.

“You fucking _ruined_ _me_ , you know that Schlatt? I mean, look around, it’s pretty fucking obvious.”

Schlatt met Quackity’s eyes, leaning in. He noticed the bags under his eyes, the hair peaking haphazardly underneath his beanie. How exhausted he was.

Like it often did while Schlatt was alive, the familiar feeling of guilt opened up in his stomach.

The difference between back then and now is that Schlatt was no longer going to ignore it anymore.

“I know.” Schlatt whispered.

Quackity blinked. Like he couldn’t believe it.

“And I also know,” Schlatt muttered, leaning forward more, “That me just saying ‘sorry’ is never gonna cover it.”

“Damn right…” Quackity growled.

“So,” Schlatt sighed, pulling back just as Alex was close enough to breathe his air, “I mainly came here to give you closure. Because...I think you deserve it, Alex. And I took that from you by...dying like I did.”

Alex grimaced, and adjusted his beanie. “Since when did you care about what I deserve?”

Schlatt looked down at his hands, the question sinking into his skin. “To be completely honest with you pumpkin, I never did. Not for a long time.”

Quackity looked triumphant, like Schlatt had confirmed a theory that he could never prove.

A shiver wracked down Schlatt’s body as he forced the words out of himself, “But...I think I really started to think about it by watching Wil gain his memories back. To see the horror at finding out the person I was…” Schlatt put his hands together, and wiped down his nose like saying this brought him exhaustion.

Schlatt felt the pit in his stomach widen with every breath, as if every admission of sin burned a hole deep inside.

He cleared his throat, finally bringing enough strength to finish his sentence, “It makes me regret everything I ever did.”

Quackity met his eyes, genuinely, for what felt like the first time in eons.

They stared at each other, and Schlatt’s words died away.

He remembered now why he had agreed to join him in this foolish errand to begin with, looking into his eyes.

Like he knew everything about him, his entire soul put on a scale against a feather.

Maybe that’s why he was so awful to him, but also couldn’t stand to pull himself away.

They each played tug of war with each other, taking what they wanted till there was nothing left.

Stomping on boundaries, tearing down walls, blowing up standards of what a relationship should have been.

What it could have been.

“Alex, you were always too good for me.” Schlatt admitted to himself.

Something in that broke Quackity, the layers peeling away.

He smiled sadly and reached up to slip off his beanie, holding it tightly in his fingers. His tousled hair fell over his eyes.

“Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Hope you enjoyed this chapter...I know it definitely isn't like the last chapter, but the relationships explored in this chapter make it one of my favorites.
> 
> I wanna address really quick that if you picked up on the toxic relationship that Wilbur and Techno have, it was 100% intentional. Wilbur uses Techno for his own benefit, just like many on the DreamSMP. 
> 
> Get ready for more angst and conversations in the following chapters. 
> 
> As usual, please consider commenting! And follow me on Twitter if you feel like it: @fairest_of_lame! I post sneak peaks of new updates on there soooo :)


	12. healing old wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a crowd unfamiliar  
> I just wanna touch a familiar face  
> And make friends at the parties I've feared  
> The likes of an age  
> To be wanted with truth  
> And make formidable love  
> See light in myself  
> That I see inside everyone else I know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my schlattbur playlist I made specifically for this fic: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3dpSHoAb77hPOaQsk6Tq8g?si=sALoINHnQZCisaYq8HG4fQ

Schlatt gave one last tiny nod to Alex before slipping out the door.

Alex didn’t respond back, turning away so that he wouldn’t have to see Schlatt leave.

A pang shot through Schlatt’s heart, but he understood.

He definitely didn’t want to overstay his welcome.

He knew that the both of them had short fuses and too much bad blood, so they both knew it was best for him not to hang around long.

Especially now that Alex knew he had Wilbur to go back to when the sun set.

Despite Schlatt not having any romantic feelings for Quackity, he couldn’t help but feel guilty at seeing his face light up in quiet realization.

They had always played games with each other, teasing and jeering insults. For Quackity, he probably guessed that it would forever be that way.

That final confrontation at the White House, where Schlatt had been so drunk and so angry he could hardly see straight, grabbing a pickaxe and tearing the fucker down while Alex screamed his name…. both of them knew then that Schlatt’s actions could never be undone.

Schlatt remembered tossing the pickaxe to the ground, looking up through bleary vision to see tears slipping down Alex’s cheeks, and then watching him slowly shake his head as if to say, “I should have realized it would end like this,” and walking off into the sunset.

Schlatt didn’t see him again until he marched in with the rest of Wilbur’s army in that stupid van, decked in armor that didn’t fit him properly, his beanie squished under the helmet.

And Schlatt couldn’t meet his eyes.

Schlatt knew that the bad blood between them will stain forever.

Best not to hang around and dig up any other trauma between them.  
Schlatt knew that one conversation wasn’t enough to fix everything that was broken, and he also knew that just saying he was sorry wouldn’t make Quackity genuinely want redemption for him.

Despite the small smiles and brief happy memories they shared, Schlatt knew that Alex still hated him.

He felt it just like he felt Wilbur from across the SMP, a small tug that meant that Wilbur had made himself visible since the moment he walked into Alex’s house.

Hate like theirs is something that would need a miracle to reverse.

What is one thing, or person, that could show Alex that Schlatt deserved to follow Wilbur into the afterlife?

One person that Schlatt had wronged in such an unforgivable way that, if Schlatt could convince them, then everyone else might follow suit?

Schlatt froze in his tracks, his breath freezing in his throat as his eyes fell on a familiar sight.

The bench.

_Tubbo._

\---

“You’re hindering yourself, Wil.” Techno mentioned, his cape unclipped and thrown over a chair, stretching over Wilbur’s bed.

Wilbur looked up from his spot on the floor, sitting up to get a better view of Technoblade. He scrunched his nose at seeing Technoblade’s boots get dirt on his bed.

“Get your nasty feet off my bed.”

“Nah,” Technoblade breathed, smiling. “Not like you’re using it anyway.”

“Ew.”

Technoblade laughed, but his smile faded. “You ignored what I said.”

“No I didn’t,” Wilbur replied, “What do ya mean, ‘hindering myself’?”

“You remember what I said to you a couple days ago, about your memories?”

Wilbur thought for a second before it dawned on him. “Oh, about how I might have forgotten because I do it on purpose?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve been getting better at that, though. I’ve been remembering.”

“You have?” Techno asked, turning his head to look at Wilbur on the floor. “Where are you at?”

“Um,” Wilbur murmured, rubbing his head, “I remember what happened at the festival.”

Technoblade lurched up, his eyes drilling into Wilbur.

Wilbur tried to ignore how his fist clenched, and how he remembered Technoblade executing Tubbo, fireworks filling his memory’s vision.

“After that,” Wilbur persisted, nervousness piling in his gut, “I don’t remember.”

Technoblade sighed, and swung his feet off the bed, his heavy boots hitting the floor with a thunk. “If you want...I can forcibly trigger those for you.”

“My memories?”

Technoblade nodded. “I didn’t want to do it when I first found out, when I took your hand that day at the campsite. You weren’t ready then.”

He sat down cross-legged on the floor next to Wilbur. “But if you want me to, I can pull the rest from your subconscious.”

“...how are you able to do that?” Wilbur asked, sitting up and crossing his legs as well to mirror his brother.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to.” Technoblade replied, holding out his palms.

“Oh, of course, I should have known.” Wilbur sighed exasperatedly, clasping his hands in Technoblade’s own, careful not to accidentally pass through Technoblade’s fingers.

“It might cause discomfort.” Technoblade mumbled as his large hand ghosted over Wilbur’s small fingers. “....or pain.”

“I’m ready.” Wilbur confirmed, nodding.

“Okay.” Technoblade responded after a span of silence, almost waiting for Wilbur to go back on his word. “Close your eyes and relax.”

Wilbur fluttered his eyes closed, and breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth till he felt his heart still. That familiar tingling sensation spread out from his hands, down his arms, and across the rest of his body. Then...the tingling sensation turned into something...else.

Fire.

White hot heat flicked down his arms, causing him to gasp.

“Keep breathing,” He heard Technoblade mumble. “Stay calm.”

Wilbur bit his lip to stop himself from groaning from the pain, nodding.

The invisible flames licked up his neck, causing Wilbur to arch his face upwards in an attempt to somehow avoid the fire.

“Accept it.” Technoblade breathed.

Hearing Technoblade’s voice grounded him somehow. That steady monotone telling him that it was gonna be okay.

Wilbur breathed deeply, and accepted the flames, the heat consuming his head as the world went dark.

\---

Wilbur stepped out from behind a building and attempted to act confident as he walked into the lion’s den, enemies surrounding him as he entered the main festival area. Heads swiveled to meet him as he continued to walk forward, finally stopping to stare Schlatt in the face, his head arching up to glare at the figures on the platform. Debris from the aftermath of Technoblade’s fireworks littered the scene, blood staining the grass.

“Hello Schlatt.” Wilbur managed as he slipped his hands into his pockets, careful not to let slip how scared he was.

He was careful not to make eye contact with his son, only focusing on the dark and menacing frame of Schlatt.

This wasn’t the time for weakness.

“Oh my god.” Schlatt breathed, his voice barely audible if not for the microphone to his lips.

Wilbur felt anger bubble inside him.

How dare he sound like he was tired by his presence.

“You actually...murdered Tubbo..” Wilbur forced out.

“And you let him do it.” Schlatt replied, shifting his gaze just as Wilbur felt Techno’s cape brush against his feet.”

Despite his efforts, Wilbur felt his fists clench on his sides.

JSchlatt glanced over at Nikki, who had almost hunched over to make herself as small as possible.

Wilbur felt a sense of protectiveness rise in his chest, taking a step forward. “If you’re going to kill anyone else, kill me.”

Laughter erupted from Schlatt’s throat. “Yeah, yeah, loverboy, I’ve had enough out of your mouth.” He barked, grinning as he saw Alex take his sword out of his hilt. “I’m not gonna kill anyone else.”

“Do I look like a bad guy?” Schlatt said, his horns curling tightly around his face.

He looked like the devil himself.

Before a “Yes” could form in his throat, the scene warped and twisted.

Flashes of Tommy and Techno in a deep hole flickered across his mind, blood splattering the stone walls as fists and legs connected with the opposing body, and Technoblade striking the finishing blow to send Tommy unconscious. Wilbur felt a maniacal cheer erupt out of his throat as Technoblade looked up, swiping the blood off his lip.

Another flash of him standing atop a hill, an army below him.

The scenes sped up.

Technoblade’s armory.

Wilbur pulling back a flaming arrow, letting it loose on Dream’s forces below.

The ceasefire.

Everyone piling into the van, taking in Schlatt’s broken state.

His son screaming, tears slipping down his face as he realized how everyone in his life always ended up betraying him.

Wilbur telling Tommy to shoot him in the eyes.

Schlatt coughing, blood dribbling down his lip.

The words, “If I go down, L’Manburg goes down with me.” spilling desperately out of Schlatt’s mouth as he realized he had reached the end of his rope.

Schlatt taking a final, desperate breath before he collapsed completely, the life gone.

Wilbur felt his body address the crowd below him in the place that Schlatt had been, his voice filled with fake hope of his country.

Tubbo taking the stage.

Wilbur slipping away as Tubbo’s voice echoed from his spot on the podium.

.

.

.

And the button.

That _fucking_ button.

Then Philza, his father entering from the shadows.

Then, tears staining his cheeks, in a pure moment of madness, his fist colliding with the mechanism that haunted Wilbur’s dreams.

“ _This,_ ” He thought as his father's sword speared his skin, rubble around them, “ _This is my legacy._ ”

Instead of his memories to black as Wilbur came to the end of his life, Wilbur felt his body lurch in the physical world as the fire leached off his head, and back down his body and arms. He felt Technoblade’s fingers twitch as they hovered over each other, a small grunt escaping his brother as they both entered a new scene.

Wilbur he felt his being grow heavy and tall, his mind loud.

“ _These aren’t my memories._ ” Wilbur realized as the hissing voices calling for blood and destruction filled his ears.

This was Technoblade’s.

His voice bellowed, his trident sweeping to each of his so-called friends as he claimed treachery and deceit.

In the physical world, a pit formed in Wilbur’s chest.

“You wanna be a hero, Tommy?” Technoblade’s voice echoed, voice cracking with emotion as he clutched the wither skulls in his hands. “Then die like one!”

Explosions and screams saturated Wilbur’s senses for the second time before that too faded into darkness.

\---

Wilbur wrenched his fingers away from Technoblade, scrambling along the floor until he felt his back hit the wall.

Technoblade slowly opened his eyes, tiredly watching Wilbur’s frantic state.

“Calm down. You’re okay.” Techno breathed.

Wilbur took deep breaths in an attempt to steady his racing heart.

“Why- why did you do that?” Wilbur asked, clutching his chest.

Technoblade shifted slowly in his cross-legged stance, his stature despite emitting grace and skill still looking somehow awkward. “That’s a stupid question.”

Wilbur blinked as he wrapped his mind around his newly acquired memories.

“I know your beliefs Techno-” Wilbur started, slowly coming to the realization. “But- but those were your friends.”

Technoblade scoffed. “They were never my friends.”

“And Tommy-” Wilbur began again but was quickly interrupted.

“Tommy only cares about himself! He always has.” Technoblade shifted again, standing up. “He only ever used me, anyway…” Technoblade’s face darkened as he scowled, “And we definitely aren’t on good terms anymore after I killed Tubbo.”

“That’s not true-”

“Get off it Wilbur.” Technoblade snapped, causing Wilbur to pale. “Both of you did. Don’t act like you didn’t.”

As much as Wilbur wanted to deny it, he knew that Technoblade was right.

He used him.

Everyone did.

And Wilbur continues to do so, stringing him along with the promise of a finish line, a resting point for the both of them.

“You-” Technoblade began, but his voice cracked. He cleared his throat before continuing. “You all used me, then expected me to sit by and just watch while you used the victory that you won with my help to do the one thing that I didn’t want to happen?”

His voice dripped with malice. “And then expected me not to do anything about it?”

Wilbur, as much as he hated it, understood Technoblade.

“I don’t regret helping you overthrow the Schlatt administration,” Technoblade admitted, “The only thing I regret….was watching you go insane to achieve that goal.”

Technoblade shuffled his feet, eyes to the ground as if he confessed.

A stab shot through Wilbur’s heart as he found his words, “That’s not your fault!”

Technoblade’s eyes found his as he continued forward, “Techno, my choices were my own. Don’t act like because you had your ambitions that me doing what I did was your fault! It wasn’t!”

Wilbur launched to his feet, and reached out his hand in an attempt to grab Technoblade’s arm to comfort him, but his hand passed through him completely.

Wilbur’s arm fell, the deep pang of the loss of physical connection echoing between them.

They stood staring at each other as each other's words sunk into their skins.

Wilbur watched as the seconds passed how Technoblade’s face morphed from one of deep pain to something devoid of expression.

Like how he often did all throughout their youth, Techno had once again buried his feelings deep inside for no one to ever find again.

And again like in their childhood, Wilbur never knew what to do to stop Techno from doing so.

He felt so helpless.

Technoblade walked over to the chair, grabbing his cloak, sliding it over his shoulder and connecting the clasp.

“Wait- don’t go.” Wilbur whispered, holding his arms like he wanted to take up as little space as possible.

Technoblade froze, halfway to the door. “What?”

“H-how’s Phil? After...after my death?” Wilbur asked, remembering his first moments of a ghost, how he had materialized seeing his physical body speared through with his father’s sword. How his dad had slowly reached his shaky hands to Wilbur’s face, closing his dead eyes.

Technoblade didn’t answer immediately.

“He’s alright,” Technoblade finally responded. “Working. Alot.”

Oh.

“Like...after mom?” Wilbur hesitantly questioned.

“Yeah.” Technoblade gritted out, and walked away, his palm covering the door handle.

“Techno?” Wilbur whispered as he opened the door with a creak.

Techno looked back, the sunset shining in from the window dancing across his face.

“It’ll happen soon, won’t it? The ritual?” Wilbur asked.

As much as Wilbur hated to admit it, he wanted the turmoil of his redemption to be over with, and soon.

Technoblade frowns but nods softly, grabbing his mask and slipping out the door.

\---

Dusk had fallen by the time Schlatt had entered the castle.

He slowly climbed up the stairs, the torches along the wall barely illuminating his path.

He almost didn’t notice Technoblade till he was right in front of him, an inch away from passing through him completely.

Technoblade visibly stiffened, aware of his presence.

Schlatt wondered if it was worth it to just slip by, but Techno interrupted his thoughts.

“Come on out, Schlatt.” Techno growled.

He sighed, flickering into Techno’s vision. “What’cha want?” Schlatt questioned.

“I know about you and Wil.” He gruffed.

Schlatt tried to hide any expression on his face, careful not to show the way that Technoblade affected him.

“Yeah? What of it?” Schlatt bit back.

Technoblade leaned down from his spot above Schlatt on the stairs, his shadow passing over Schlatt and covering him in semi-darkness.

“ _What of it?_ ” Technoblade repeated back. “I have every right to send you straight to hell for everything you’ve done while alive, forget what you’re doing now.”

Technoblade stepped forward and Schlatt stepped back on impulse, almost missing the step below him as he attempted to maintain the space between them.

“You disgust me.” Technoblade glowered.

“Look- Techno, uh-”

Techno’s hand reached out like he was going to grab Schlatt’s throat.

“ _He can’t,”_ Schlatt thought frantically, “ _He can’t touch me._ ”

But regardless, he felt a pressure build in the base of his throat. Schlatt let out a breathless gasp.

“If I ever find out you’ve been treating him badly, in any dimension, you’ll be done for. Permanently. No consciousness.”

The pressure increased.

“Do you understand?” Technoblade purred, a slow smile forming on his lips.

Schlatt couldn’t reply, so he managed a weak nod.

The pressure released itself and Schlatt frantically breathed in air.

“You are everything I hate about this world,” Technoblade continued, “And the only reason I’m helping you get something you don’t _fucking_ deserve is because of Wil. Don’t think this is anything else.”

And with that, he swept past Schlatt, not even bothering with a backward glance.

Schlatt collapsed down on his bed once he got back to his room, finally letting out the stress that had been building inside him.

He heard his door open and looked up to see Wilbur walk in, smiling as they met eyes.

Schlatt’s head hit the pillows again as Wilbur sat down on the bed.

Comfortable silence stretched between them.

“Your brother is fucking terrifying.” Schlatt blurted out.

Wilbur’s laugh echoed through the room, and Schlatt’s heart warmed.

He sat up and leaned over, grabbing Wilbur’s chin to pull him in for a kiss.

“Sleep with me tonight, babe.” Schlatt breathed after they pulled apart.

Wilbur smiled, his hand sliding up to cup Schlatt’s cheek. “Of course...wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

\---

Wilbur slipped out of bed, careful not to wake up Schlatt as he pulled back his arms and shuffled into his clothes.

He descended the stairs, surprised to find Eret walking around the castle that early in the morning.

Eret rubbed his eyes, his sunglasses slipping past his nose before he could push them back up.

Wilbur revealed himself, tapping the wall to notify Eret of his presence before he had the opportunity to scare him.

“Why’re you up so early?” Wilbur asked as Eret looked in his direction with a smile.

“A king never sleeps.” Eret replied smoothly.

“Mhm.”

“I could ask you the same thing, actually.” Eret continued, walking into a room off of the throne room.

Wilbur followed as Eret entered another drawing-room, the fire warming the coldness of the morning. “Got work to do...repentance and all.”

Eret nodded, sitting down on a couch. “Speaking of work…” Eret said sheepishly, “I summoned Philza to come into town.”

Wilbur sat down on the opposite facing couch before he processed what he had said. “....why?”

“Well,” Eret continued, “I need a living relative to sign the adoption papers….”

“Oh.”

“And I didn’t think Sally would come onto shore for something like this, so….”

“Yeah.”

“And...if you need help with the ritual, maybe your father could help with that.” Eret breathed out, clasping his hands in nervousness as he forced the last bit out.

“You know about the ritual?” Wilbur questioned.

“Techno asked me for supplies at the crack of dawn this morning.”

Wilbur nodded in acceptance, but the anxiety of seeing his father soon weighed on his heart.

The last time he had seen him, Wil had asked his Phil to put a sword through his chest.

“You told him about...my state?” Wilbur asked, his voice warbling.

Eret nodded. “He understood. He said he’d heard of this condition happening to others, but he said it was rare.”

Wilbur tried not to think about how Phil must have reacted to the news.

His cold demeanor he had built up as a form of protection against trauma breaking, but still choosing to stay strong for everyone around him.

Wilbur took a deep, shaky breath. “When do you think he’s coming?”

“Sometime tomorrow,” Eret replied. “He’s working, but he said he should finish it by tonight.”

Wilbur nodded. “Hey, Eret, any idea where Tommy might be today?”

Eret, though noticing Wilbur’s start change in topic, didn’t mention it. “Yes, actually. He mentioned yesterday how he wanted to check out the new addition to my museum. I would check there first.”

Wilbur stood up, ready to push the thought of seeing his father to the back of his mind. “Okay, thanks!”

“No problem.” Eret replied as Wilbur quickly exited the room.

\---

Eret’s prediction was correct as Wilbur hand brushed one of the large quartz pillars to enter the museum.

A replica of the caravan stood in the center, a huge map of the land on the back wall.

With a chill, Wilbur noticed a second smaller map of L’Manburg after the explosion, and a fetal position Tommy underneath it.

His instincts pushed him forward as he sprinted to Tommy’s side.

“Tommy, Tommy!” He cried out, revealing himself.

Tommy flinched, looking up. Tears streamed down his cheeks.

“What’re you doing here?” Tommy asked bluntly, embarrassed that Wilbur had caught him in a moment of weakness.

“I actually came to find you.” Wilbur replied, sitting down next to Tommy on the floor.

“Yeah, to try to get me to “forgive you”, right?” Tommy said, his fingers making air quotes.

Wilbur blinked.

“Alex told me.”

Oh.

“Well, yeah, but also….I just wanted to see how you are.” Wilbur breathed, looking down at his younger brother.

Tommy sniffled. “Guess.”

“...wanna talk about it?”

“Do I look like someone who wants to talk about their feelings?” Tommy bites back.

“Can you try?” Wilbur asks.

Tommy rolls his eyes.

“Or we could just sit here.”

And they do.

For a long while.

Tommy, like he always did, spoke first.

“I always thought I could count on you. Even in the end.” Tommy began, flexing his fingers. “I didn’t believe you would actually do it till I saw the explosion happen.”

A part of Wilbur wanted to say, “Me neither,” but he held his tongue, letting Tommy speak.

“I dunno Wil. You were always my actual big brother. Sure Techno was there, I guess, but he….well you know how he is. He never actually cared about me.” Tommy continued, licking his lips.

Wilbur grimaced, but nodded.

He hated how perceptive he was sometimes, despite his explicit nature.

“I hate what you did to all of us, Wil. But it wasn’t all bad.” Tommy thought out loud, looking around the museum.

Wilbur’s eyes landed on the recreated L’Manburg wall.

“No, it wasn’t.” Wilbur simply responded instead of the thousands of other things he thought to say.

“I guess the same could be said about Schlatt….when I heard he actually went to talk with Quackity, I didn’t believe him. But...then he said that Schlatt went because you asked him to….and it made sense.”

Wilbur’s heart swelled as Tommy met his eyes.

“I know you’re not a bad guy Wil, as much as you tried to act like you were.” Tommy concluded. “Even when you were going bonkers you still acted like the brother I always knew….”

Tommy’s fist clenched, then relaxed. “I mean Wilbur, I already forgive you. I always will.”

Wilbur’s throat started to burn as he resisted the tears.

As much as Tommy drove him up the wall, he still loved him.

He forgot how much he took him for granted.

His body felt light despite the heaviness in his heart.

Tommy smiled for the first time, “You don’t have to worry about me Wil. I always bounce back.”

And as weightlessness filled Wilbur’s heart, a smile mirroring Tommy’s stretching across his face, Wilbur finally let loose a tear.

The smile dropped once he saw Tommy’s face go pale.

“Wil- you’re fucking floating!” Tommy blurted.

What?

Wilbur looked down, and noticed with a shock that he was hovering above the floor by several inches.

Oh.

That’s new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deus ex machina technoblade lmfaooooo
> 
> Sorry about the wait for this chapter, hope you guys can forgive me! So you may have noticed that I have officially have set the chapter count to 16...just so you guys know that the 16th is an epilogue, so the ending is actually much closer than you think. :)
> 
> I mainly spent so long because I decided to write a modern/college AU Schlackity and a Dream/Awesamdude Prison fic. After seeing Sam show Tommy around the prison I couldn't resist. Sorry not sorry! I *might* make a Valentine's sequel to The Christmas Exchange but after that my primary focus will be finishing this fic so consider sticking around!
> 
> Please consider commenting telling me your thoughts, or simply leaving a kudo! Find me on fairest_of_lame on Twitter if you would like!


	13. ready to go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the years unfamiliar  
> Are made of increasingly digital days  
> And I am grieving the loss of myself  
> With frightening malaise  
> When there's weightless in youth  
> And the sum of it's small  
> Just stand in the darkness  
> And laugh with your heel on its throat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TDSTFS playlist that I update very frequently (its around 4 hrs now): https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3dpSHoAb77hPOaQsk6Tq8g?si=sALoINHnQZCisaYq8HG4fQ

Schlatt tried not to be angry as he, eyes bleary from sleep, reached across the bed to grasp his lover and found him absent.

He hoped that he could have at least one day where they could simply...sleep in.

Enjoy each other.

Because who knows how long they had left.

He resisted the sharp surge of anxiety that stirred inside him at the thought of whatever lied for them beyond the point they were at now.

When Technoblade had threatened him earlier, he mentioned how he can send Schlatt somewhere where he lacked consciousness.

Although that thought by itself wasn’t particularly comforting, the other side of the coin revealed that wherever they were going- wherever Technoblade was planning on sending them to- that place at least allowed Schlatt to retain some semblance of awareness.

He just hoped that Wilbur would be there with him.

He was reaching the end of his rope concerning patience of having to wake up and work for redemption.

All his life he worked and effectively burned every bridge he ever had and the effort of having to reverse all that damage while so damn close to everything he ever wanted was playing with him.

Every day that he finally settled in with Wilbur by his side was bliss, and every time he woke up without him was like being shoved into ice-cold water, shaking him back to the reality that they still had so far to go.

Schlatt was tired.

The years of a terrible life weighed heavily on his soul.

No wonder he had fallen so head over heels for Wilbur when he finally had the opportunity to confess everything he had ever felt.

In that church, forgetful of the lives they had experienced, Schlatt finally had a chance to do the thing he could never accomplish.

But, of course, reality had other plans.

Schlatt just wanted to be able to enjoy the afterlife with the one person that mattered.

The fear that one wrong step could end it all...Schlatt felt his hands shake as he gradually put on his clothes for another day of work.

Hopefully, this wouldn’t have to continue for much longer.

If it did, Schlatt wouldn’t know what to do.

More than anything, Schlatt just wanted to rest.

But he also knew that as long as he was in this plane, he would never achieve it...not truly.

So he put on his shoes, pushed his hair out of his eyes, and shuffled out the door to confront the one person he had left to talk to.

Tubbo.

\---

Tubbo was the only one on the construction site as Schlatt entered the ruins of old L’Manburg.

Water was filled under the stilts and fish were beginning to populate the area.

It was strange, seeing an area so different from when he was alive.

Fish darted between the stilts and the soft trickling sounds of moving water touched Schlatt’s soul in the strangest way.

It was already healing without him.

Tubbo currently was looking down at plans he had drawn up at the center of L’Manburg, maps, diagrams, and various sketches strewed out haphazardly on the table in front of him.

Schlatt slowly made his way over, anxiety creeping up on his thoughts as he contemplated how best to deal with his current issue.

The last time he had talked to his former right-hand man it had ended in an explosive altercation.

_I am NOTHING like you._

Schlatt didn’t even know where to begin, but as he looked at Tubbo, sweat beginning to form on his forehead as the sun just began to show itself through the clouds, he knew that he couldn’t be the man he was before.

He couldn’t be the man he was a couple of days ago, and he definitely couldn’t be the man he was when he was alive.

As Schlatt didn’t like to think about it now, he had given the order.

It was him, and no one else, that was responsible for Tubbo’s murder.

He watched as Tubbo wiped at his forehead, pushing up his hair.

Schlatt’s breath caught in his throat.

He had horns.

Schlatt blinked, adamant that he was imagining things, but a deep part of him knew he didn’t mistake what he just saw.

Tubbo had short, brown stubs that were barely seen through the thick tufts of hair.

Schlatt felt a feeling of guilt envelop him. He didn’t know how or when Tubbo had started to develop horns, but he knew that it was his fault.

Maybe that’s why Tubbo’s reaction to their similarities had been so visceral that day.

Horns are just another thing that binds the two of them together.

A reminder of his past.

Tubbo stepped away from the plans and stepped over to a chest, pulling out various supplies and shoving them into his pockets before tearing off to start another day of building.

Schlatt felt his feet carry him along as he followed Tubbo as if pulled in by a cord.

Hours slowly ticked by as Tubbo worked on the foundations of what soon appeared to be the community area and the first couple of houses.

Schlatt stood by and watched, brows furrowed and hands in his pockets as he wracked his brain on how to confront him.

He didn't even know where to start.

He just knew that Tubbo didn't deserve the pain of whatever Schlatt was going to talk to him about.

But Schlatt also knew that Tubbo also didn’t deserve to be killed mercilessly by his hand, so he revealed himself with a wince.

Tubbo didn’t even notice Schlatt as he walked up behind him, so absorbed in his work.

Schlatt didn’t want to scare him, so he relaxed against a support beam and waited for Tubbo to realize he was there.

It wasn’t till Tubbo reached into his pockets and found he was out of wood that he turned around to go back to his chests, seeing Schlatt for the first time.

He stumbled backward, grabbing his shirt in surprise. Schlatt held up a hand in greeting.

“How long have you been standing there?” Tubbo blurted.

“A couple minutes,” Schlatt said, pushing off from his lean, “Didn’t want to scare you.”

“Well,” Tubbo gasped, breathing deeply to stabilize his heart, “That didn’t work.”

Schlatt smiled softly. “Yeah, guess not.”

“I know why you’re here.” Tubbo commented as he brushed past Schlatt to get back to his chests.

Schlatt followed him, “You do?”

“Yeah. Both you and Wil have been making your rounds.” Tubbo mumbled, reaching forward to open up his chest. His hand stilled over the latch, and he pulled back to focus his full attention on Schlatt instead of his work.

Schlatt took a deep breath as he prepared his words. “All of you were right about me.”

Tubbo blinked, “In what way?”

Schlatt groaned and he combed a hand through his hair. “I was...well, there’s no point in me reiterating every shitty thing I ever did. You know from first-hand experience,” Schlatt saw Tubbo’s mouth grimace but he continued to push forward, “I mean, with Alex, it was almost like he was used to it so it didn’t bother him how shitty I was until it boiled over...but people like you...it was different.”

“How? How was it different?” Tubbo asked hesitantly, jumping up on the table that was littered with his blueprints, not caring at how they scattered everywhere by his action.

“I mean….you saw me for who I was,” Schlatt concluded. “You guys were never my friends….I mean, in the end, no one was...”

Tubbo nodded to confirm Schlatt’s words, and Schlatt pressed forward. “Tubbo, you know why I’m here. I wanna go into the afterlife with Wilbur.”

“Yeah.”

“As much as I want that though, I know I’m probably not gonna get it.”

At this, Tubbo raised an eyebrow.

“I’ve done so many bad things, wronged so many people. Every person I touched I changed for the worst...and it wasn’t like that for Wilbur. He had good memories. He actually cared… in his own crazy twisted way….but for me? I just destroyed everyone I ever came in contact with,” Schlatt felt his hands tighten into fists but he kept them close to his sides, “Is that kind of person even worthy of redemption?”

Tubbo turned his gaze to the sky at Schlatt’s question, appearing to be deep in thought.

“So...I didn’t come here to ask if you could forgive me. I know you probably can’t, and I won’t ask you to try. I just wanted to tell you that I’m….I really am sorry for what I did to you,” Schlatt forced out. “And I hope...that even though I can’t go beyond, that I can bring you closure.” Schlatt found his voice breaking despite himself, and he awkwardly cleared his throat. “When I look back on my life, what I did to you stands out the most. You’re….you’re a kid, and you were just doing what you thought was right. And I did an unspeakable thing to you.”

Tubbo swallowed slowly, holding his hands out in front of him as he processed Schlatt’s words.

“Tubbo...you deserve to live the rest of your life without thinking about me. Any of it. And I hope you achieve that.” Schlatt finished, almost gasping out the last words.

A wrenching raw feeling had appeared in his throat that made it hard for him to speak.\

Schlatt expected Tubbo to silently nod and move along, or to get angry at him. Yell, curse, scream, something that gave Schlatt the punishment he thought he deserved.

What he didn’t expect is for Tubbo to smile painfully, and a pat on the table for Schlatt to join him.

Schlatt hesitantly walked forward and jumped up to sit on the table with Tubbo.

“I’ve thought about what you did to me a lot since that day.” Tubbo began.

Schlatt glanced over at his body, looking at Tubbo’s hands and holding his tongue, almost like he thought that his voice would scare him away.

“And I want you to know that...I’ve already forgiven you. Both of you.”

Schlatt’s head snapped up. That wasn’t what he was expecting.

“What?” Schlatt blurted.

Tubbo smiled, a laugh threatening to bubble in his throat. “I’ve really thought about you and your life. I know your struggles with addiction...with alcoholism.”

Schlatt clenched his hands at that. He didn’t like thinking about it.

“And though I do hate what you did to everyone...to me, I...I can’t bring myself to hate you. I….I pity you, Schlatt.”

That raw feeling returned in Schlatt’s throat. He coughed, rubbing his mouth.

Tubbo persisted, “You’re probably wondering why that is….”

Schlatt nodded quickly, scared to give a verbal confirmation in case it came off as angry due to his racing heart.

“Well, I’ve decided that I can’t just...hate someone my whole life. I don’t have that kind of endurance. I’m not like Tommy or Alex or Techno. I just...I can’t _not_ think about how much you’ve suffered. How much we suffered together.”

The tearing feeling crept further up Schlatt’s throat and he swallowed to banish it. It didn’t go away.

“I’ve decided to let it go. Put it behind me.” Tubbo affirmed to himself, reaching over and picking up a blueprint, unfurling it to show his plans for his new city. “I’m the president now. And this time, we won’t be nailed down by anger or mistakes of the past. We finally have an opportunity to be whole again.”

Schlatt slowly lifted his hand and gingerly touched the blueprints.

They looked beautiful. Something he could never imagine by himself.

Tubbo set it back down, beginning again, “I’ve let you go.” He breathed, looking Schlatt dead in the eyes, “I’ve let you both go.”

Schlatt finally let out the breath he had been suppressing inside him, gasping into the air.

He finally accepted the raw emotion inside him, tears forming in his eyes.

This time, instead of burying his emotions deep down inside to never see the light of day like he had done so many times before, he accepted the waterfall as it descended down his cheeks.

Tubbo’s eyes widened in surprise as he saw what Schlatt was doing, and looked away awkwardly.

Schlatt hiccuped a laugh at Tubbo’s reaction. “I’m sorry,” Schlatt mumbled mostly to himself, embarrassed as he wiped the tears away.

He felt weightless as Tubbo’s words melted into his skin.

Schlatt never expected this extreme act of pure kindness.

He didn’t know how to process it.

Tubbo reached out a hand in comfort but retracted it as he remembered that it would only pass through Schlatt’s body.

They stayed sitting like that for a while as Schlatt slowly sobbed, wrapping his arms around his chest to try to mitigate the aching feeling that wracked his body in slow waves.

“I’ll talk to Alex.” Tubbo whispers as the silence stretched on.

Schlatt looked up, his eyes raw. “Why would you do that?”

Tubbo’s mouth twitches. “Because I think you deserve to be happy. Everyone does.”

Schlatt’s hands shook.

He couldn’t believe what was happening. “At least- Tubbo- I can help. I’ll help you. Least I can do.” Schlatt gasped, leaping off the table, turning back around to Tubbo.

Tubbo smiles, getting up as well.

He walked over to the chest and started to hand Schlatt building supplies without a second thought.

They work on L’Manburg together until nightfall.

And when it got late and Schlatt knew he had to go back to be with Wilbur, Tubbo let him go.

A small smile, a slight nod, and he turned away to work on his home for the rest of the night.

To rebuild and heal from the two of them.

\---

Focusing on his own self guilt, Tubbo, and the rebuilding of L’Manburg distracted Schlatt to the fact that he was floating.

It wasn’t until he was halfway to Eret’s castle that he noticed that as he walked his feet weren’t even touching the ground.

On this discovery, he came to a horrifying conclusion.

They were close.

He sped faster to the castle.

\---

“Look Wil-” Schlatt blurted, bursting open the door to his room. “I’m floating!”

Wilbur looks up from the journal he was writing in at Schlatt’s desk. He slowly drags his eyes down Schlatt’s frame and to his feet, where he was in fact levitating by several inches. He smiled, and got down of his chair, gesturing downwards.

Schlatt’s mouth dropped open as he saw that Wilbur was floating as well.

“What’s it mean?” Schlatt said, even though he felt like he already knew.

Wilbur smiled and held out his hand for Schlatt to take. Schlatt stepped forward and felt his anxiety fade slightly as he wrapped his hand around his.

“We’re fading.” Wilbur replied softly, resolute.

Schlatt shivered.

“What do you mean, we’re fading? I thought that Technoblade was gonna send us away. If we’re fading, why do we need his help?”

“Well, you want us to go together, right?” Wilbur said, a sad smile appearing on his face. “He’ll help us make sure we go to the same place.”

Schlatt grimaced. He didn’t trust anybody, especially Technoblade, to handle how his afterlife was going to go.

“I-I don’t want to…. _fade_.” Schlatt admitted.

Wilbur raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean? This is what we’ve been working for.”

“What _you’ve_ been working for,” Schlatt spat, letting go of Wilbur’s hands. “I’ve been doing this for you.”

Wilbur grimaces. “Why are you scared?”

Schlatt scoffed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Did...did you seriously just ask why I’m scared? We’re fading away! It’s like I can feel myself dying twice!”

He grabbed a fistful of his own hair as he continued to voice the anxiety that was burning inside him. “What if... What if the ritual goes wrong? What if you’re not there with me? What if Technoblade was lying and there’s nothing there?”

Wilbur took a step towards Schlatt, attempting to grab his hand again. Schlatt took an equal step back.

Wilbur frowned. “The ritual won’t go wrong.”

“You don’t know that!” Schlatt argued. “All we need is one person having a trace of doubt, a single person that doesn’t want us to go, and we’ll...what? What will happen to us?”

“Nothing will happen because it will go right! Philza is coming! He’ll help us. I know that...I know that if he’s here nothing will go wrong.”

Schlatt barked out a laugh. “Just because your dad will be here doesn’t mean that everything will magically work out.”

“Look, Schlatt,” Wilbur whispered, “I know you’re scared-”

“No shit-”

“But I’ll be here. We’ll do it together. Wherever we go, I’ll be there with you,” Wilbur finally got close enough, clutching Schlatt’s hands once more. “I promise.”

Schlatt’s mouth twitched. “You promise?” He mumbled, his hand letting go to caress Wilbur’s cheek.

Wilbur nodded.

“I..” Wilbur began, “Techno showed me everything. I know everything now. And I know now...that I can’t...I can’t… I can’t live with myself anymore,” He admitted, tears forming in his eyes. “I can’t take this guilt.”

Schlatt shook his head and in an instant enveloped Wilbur with his arms.

So many times in his life he had thought of himself in the same way.

He couldn’t bear with the thought that Wilbur felt that way too.

“Please don’t Wil…” Schlatt murmured, softly stroking his hair. “You don’t deserve to think like that.”

He listened as Wilbur’s breathing steadied. They eventually pulled apart.

Even though Schlatt was scared, he knew that as long as he had Wilbur he was gonna be okay.

“We’ll go together...” Schlatt whispered as they pressed their foreheads together. “Wil?”

“Hm?”

“I think I’m ready to go.” Schlatt admitted, feeling the final chain that tied him to this world, the fear, break away from his heart.

Wilbur couldn’t stop himself as he leaned in and slowly kissed the one person that ever made him feel so utterly complete.

“Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in the home stretch boys! Schlatt finally cried!
> 
> Sorry about the late update! School, work, and preparing for college takes up a lot of my time. Going forward I'm going to be focusing solely on TDSTFS till it is completed, so hopefully around one update a week. Hope you guys are ready.
> 
> As usual, do the comment, the kudo, the bookmark, the whatever. I appreciate anything you are willing to say and give.
> 
> Twitter is Fairest_of_lame! I've got a kofi if you feel like supporting me. Have a nice day I hoped you liked this chapter. :)
> 
> P.S. I had this whole fic on a google doc and as it hit around 90 pages it started to lag and crash every 100 words. I couldn't even use Grammarly anymore because it would crash the page, so RIP to that document. It hurt to delete it.


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